My Dominican chicken recipe:

1. Make friends with someone who has a Dominican Mother (in my case, Rosa).

2. Have Dominican Mother visit New York and cook too much food so that there is leftover garlicky peppery chicken marinade.

3. Acquire this marinade somehow.

4. Buy boneless chicken breast filets and a red onion.

5. Pour the marinade over the chicken. Call Rosa and find out you’re also supposed to put salt and pepper on the chicken; but be careful: “The salt has to touch the chicken,” she warns. Pouring the salt next to the chicken won’t have the same effect.

6. Cut up the red onion, sautee it in a pan, add chicken filets.

7. Wonder aloud how long you’re supposed to cook the chicken. Poll your guests (Charles Kenny, World Bankist, and Rike Schott, glass blowerin). Agree with Charles that the longer it’s in there, the less likely you will die of salmonella.

8. Serve burnt chicken with salad and “100% real Idaho mashed potatoes” made from a box that contains shredded bits of white cardboard.

[Wed 09:33] Rosa “the Dominican ” Moreno (email) The question is “why did Stefan acquire the marinade?” if he had no idea how long to cook the chicken and really wanted mashed cardboard potatoes…

Stefan should plan to visit when the Dominican mother is actually cooking so he can eat a real meal and obtain some recipes in the meantime. Then he will find that the marinade was not leftover but left prepared in order to perpetuate tasty dishes in her absence.