A certain Leah McLaren writes a hilarious account of how British men are such hopeless romantics. And she really does stress hopeless. It sounds like she might have been circulating among some common friends. Anybody know who Nigel might be?

[Wed, Jul 31 2002 – 10:57] upPINGton (email) sad but true, i think. did a straw poll around the office here, everyone thought this was right apart from the 1 person who is male, english and went to public school, who thought it was outrageous. he then went on to suggest that this leah mclaren was probably minging, but i have googled her, checked her out and she is a hottie! phwoar. clearly single, alone in london, i would show her a good time were i not about to get married. i’d pay for her — if i thought i would score, and try to stay sober throughout the date even, surreptitiously pouring my wine in a nearby potted plant.

i am of course welsh.

[Wed, Jul 31 2002 – 11:04] Stefan (email) Hadn’t thought of googling her–well done Uppers. You’re right. She even manages to look hot in snapshots.

[Thu, Aug 01 2002 – 03:12] upPINGton (email) yes, there’s something about blonde long-haired right-wing north american journo-chicks that really gets me going.

[Thu, Aug 01 2002 – 10:00] Felix (www) (email) I dunno, man, judging by this photograph, she’s a little bit out of focus for my tastes. If I went out on a date with her, my eyes would keep on being drawn to the Asian chap behind her, which she would probably take as a sign of my latent homosexuality. (Of course, she’d be completely right in that regard…)

[Thu, Aug 01 2002 – 14:19] maTTHew (email) talking of those blonde long-haired right-wing north american journo-chicks, i never saw the attraction

[Thu, Aug 01 2002 – 16:40] Charles Kenny (www) (email) Speaking as an Irish-American, I think Welsh people who ended up in English boarding schools probably qualify as part of the problem.

Although I admit that a non-scientific poll of self-defined Irish Americans suggests that, empirically, they may belong, too.

[Thu, Aug 01 2002 – 18:21] Felix (www) (email) What is it about the love of blonde long-haired right-wing north american journo-chicks that correlates with (or even causes) bizarre InterCapping practices? upPINGton? maTTHew? whaTEVer nExt?

Anyway, I’m convinced that a tendency to pour their wine into a nearby potted plant is a prime reason for the decline and fall of what used to be Welsh civilisation. Either that or sheep-shagging.

[Fri, Aug 02 2002 – 02:07] UPpingtON (email) Kenny, I am a (reformed, non-sheep) shagger, OK? Since the age of 24 I have never had any problem telling the babes that they like me and i like them. I was at boarding school for 2 years only. I am not part of the problem. I am holding my end up.

[Fri, Aug 02 2002 – 09:05] mATTHEw (email) i think your end may be part of the problem, too

[Fri, Aug 02 2002 – 10:55] Charlie (email) I’ve sent Leah an email asking for a date. Well, nothing to lose and everything to gain, eh?

[Fri, Aug 02 2002 – 15:08] Stefan (email) Charlie, you have nothing to gain and your pride to lose.

[Sat, Aug 03 2002 – 12:42] Matthew i still think it’s a bit rich for the blogger to be critiquing the critiques of his blog.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 04:15] upPINGton (email) NO! NO NO NO! Stefan you are Mr. Wrongo! Charlie you go for it mate. Stefan we have spoken about this a thousand times, and you just don’t seem to learn. Why are you like this? Why on EARTH should charlie’s pride be lost if he gets blown out? How can you think he has nothing to gain? Are you a total FREAK? He could get the shags in!!! With a cutie too! If it doesn’t work, he gets blown out, then so what? He doesn’t get to shag someone he wouldn’t have met anyway. Admittedly now that he told us his plans we will all know he got blown out, but those of us who get the shags in regularly know you have to ante up to play the game, and there’s no shame in not getting the cards you want every hand. If Charlie gets blown out I’m still proud of him for having the guts to give it a go. Don’t you see that yours is exactly the English male loser mindset you ridicule by linking this article on your blog? Ha ha ha, you are more like an English ex-public schoolboy than Charlie, who is really an ex-public schoolboy, but you have the added problem of also being Belgian. Stefan, can you shag your pride? Never having a go is much worse than trying and failing. I have much more remorse about girls I never tried to shag but I thought liked me than trying it on and getting rejected. Get over this attitude quick, stefan.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 10:51] Matthew (email) actually, hate to say it, but i’m with the belg on this one. trying and failing has always seemed to me to be an overrated virtue. it’s a far far better thing to have never known than to have crashed and burned, or something like that.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 11:48] upPINGton (email) then stefan will never score, and will stay odd. you should really back me up on this, matthew. your attitude is very irresponsible. also, it doesn’t quite fit with your pre-kimmy lurve career, either. i know you have tried and failed on certain occasions, oh yes.

by all means one could try for the easy ones, the low hanging fruit, but low-hanging fruit is generally minging. anyone can shag that. unfortunately it is rare to find a low hanging cutie-pie: not of course impossible, and we all generally have one in our lives, but you cannot rely on another one coming round any time soon. if you’re OK with mingers, that’s great. i think our superficial failure-hating stefanie is not, and is waiting for the next low-hanging cutie-pie to come along. immediate gratification, no effort, no chance. he’s going to be waiting a long time, and you just confirmed him in his cowardice. only i have his best interests at heart, it seems.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 12:01] Stefan Geens (www) (email) Wow, you’re getting married really soon now, aren’t you, Uppington? Not that it’s beginning to show or anything.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 12:40] upPINGton (email) i just want you to share in my good fortune, steffles, and find a little cutie-pie of your own. or even just to get to shag one or two. i would give you this advice even if i was single, getting divorced, gay, etc.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 12:59] Matthew (email) uppers, you’ve been tainted by a career full of failed pursuits. they’re boring. and phyrric. even when you win, what do you have? someone who didn’t really want you in the first place, or, worse, someone who thought it was fun to make you beg like a puppy. fine, if that’s what you like….ah, i think i may have stumbled onto something here.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 12:59] Matthew (email) uppers, you’ve been tainted by a career full of failed pursuits. they’re boring. and phyrric. even when you win, what do you have? someone who didn’t really want you in the first place, or, worse, someone who thought it was fun to make you beg like a puppy. fine, if that’s what you like….ah, i think i may have stumbled onto something here.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 14:15] Charles Kenny (www) (email) Enough idle chat, did Leah say yes? If not, Charlie, did you feel sad, dejected and crushed, or not? and wouldn’t you have felt sad, pathetic, and pre-crushed if you hadn’t asked? And (if she said yes) don’t you feel great (or is she, in fact and on reflection, a minge?).

Having had long experience of not asking people who it was embarassingly obvious I fancied out on a date until (if ever) it was embarassingly obvious they’d say no, I’m with John.

[Mon, Aug 05 2002 – 16:30] Matthew (email) i think i’ve spotted the cleavage in this argument, if you’ll excuse the phrase: kenny, saville, and uppington all boarded. the sane people here (geens, rose), didn’t. which suggests either ms. mclaren has it the wrong way around or you all are doing a lot of eleventh-hour compensating.

[Tue, Aug 06 2002 – 06:01] Felix (www) (email) My, what a lot of comments since last I checked! I have to disprove Matthew’s thesis: I didn’t board, but I’m with Uppers on this one. It’s brave and admirable to ask girls out on dates when you don’t know they’ll say yes — and in fact living your life otherwise generally just means you never go out on dates. If you don’t swing, you’ll never hit, or something. Not only do you get more sex with the Uppers/Kenny approach, you also have a better chance of finding True Love. After all, I would never be with my girlf of 3 years had I not taken a big gamble on asking out a gorgeous blonde who, if she had any sense at all, would have taken one look at me and simply laughed.

[Tue, Aug 06 2002 – 08:46] Matthew (email) i thought she did

[Tue, Aug 06 2002 – 09:27] Charles Kenny (www) (email) And while we’re at it, I didn’t board, nor did Charlie, so Matthew’s theory lies in tatters around his ankles like a pair of abused y-fronts. I’d say the real cleavage is between the weeny, ugly, risk averse and the bold, brave, and beautiful.

[Tue, Aug 06 2002 – 19:12] Felix (www) (email) My, what a lot of comments since last I checked! I have to disprove Matthew’s thesis: I didn’t board, but I’m with Uppers on this one. It’s brave and admirable to ask girls out on dates when you don’t know they’ll say yes — and in fact living your life otherwise generally just means you never go out on dates. If you don’t swing, you’ll never hit, or something. Not only do you get more sex with the Uppers/Kenny approach, you also have a better chance of finding True Love. After all, I would never be with my girlf of 3 years had I not taken a big gamble on asking out a gorgeous blonde who, if she had any sense at all, would have taken one look at me and simply laughed.