God punishes Joe Eszterhas for Showgirls, although Joe is under the impression that his smoking is to blame, so he makes a deal with God and writes a New York Times opinion piece urging others to stop glamorizing cigarettes. If God is so worried about the risks we run if we smoke, why can’t God just make smoking safe?
Meanwhile, National Rifle Association President and one-time Red Sea parter Charlton Heston may have Alzheimer’s. Let’s just hope he remembers the gun safety rules–or else we might have to take away his gun license.