Mr. Lawrence, gentlemen, thank you for taking the time to talk with me. If an indication of greatness in a work of art is its relevance to future generations, then David Lean’s
Lawrence of Arabia is getting better all the time. I saw the film again last weekend for the first time since the Iraq War. You can construct an astute critique of the situation in the Gulf today merely by judiciously quoting the script verbatim. For example…I would like to start by asking you to comment, Sir, on the suspicions many Arabs have regarding the Coalition’s ambitions in the region.

LAWRENCE: I’ve told them that that’s false: that we’ve no ambitions in Arabia, have we?

ALLENBY: I’m not a politician, thank God. Have we any ambition in Arabia, Dryden?

DRYDEN: Difficult question, sir.

LAWRENCE: I want to know, sir, if I can tell them in your name that we have no ambitions in Arabia.

ALLENBY: Certainly.

That is gratifying, but surely you agree that Coalition and Iraqi interests do not automatically align. For example, in the preferential granting of oil exploration rights?

BRIGHTON: I must ask you not to speak like that, sir. British and Arab interests are one and the same.

FEISAL: Possibly.

ALI: Ha! Ha!

I see. Ah, Mr. Bentley, from the Chicago Courier, you had a question?

BENTLEY: One: What, in your opinion, do these people hope to gain from this war?

LAWRENCE: They hope to gain their freedom. Freedom.

BENTLEY: They hope to gain their freedom. There’s one born every minute.

LAWRENCE: They’re going to get it, Mr Bentley. I’m going to give it to them. The second question?

No, that’s enough from him. I would like instead to gauge your sentiments on what is next for the region. Is there a hitlist of rogue states? Is Syria next? Surely such aims can only be a pipe dream at this juncture?

BRIGHTON: Dreaming won’t get you to Damascus, sir, but discipline will. Look, sir, Great Britain is a small country; it’s much smaller than yours; a small population compared with some; it’s small but it’s great, and why?

ALI: Because it has guns!

BRIGHTON: Because it has discipline!

FEISAL: Because it has a navy; because of this, the English go where they please and strike where they please and this makes them great.

LAWRENCE: Right.

So might makes right? That’s quite an audacious statement, Prince Feisal. But this hasn’t stopped your Arabian Kingdom from throwing in your lot on the side of the coalition’s might.

FEISAL: And I must do it because the Turks have European guns, but I fear to do it; upon my soul, I do. The English have a great hunger for desolate places. I fear they hunger for Arabia.

LAWRENCE: Then you must deny it to them.

What do you mean by that, Sir? You’re not seriously prescribing pan-Arabism as a solution?

LAWRENCE: So long as the Arabs fight tribe against tribe, so long will they be a little people; a silly people; greedy, barbarous, and cruel, as you are.

I’m only being cruel to be kind in my questioning, Mr. Lawrence. But perhaps I’ll allow a softball question. What was your favorite bit of the war?

LAWRENCE: We’ve taken Aqaba.

BRIGHTON: Taken Aqaba? Who has?

I think he is confusing Aqaba with Umm Qasr, Colonel Brighton.
Understandable, they’re both their respective country’s only port. I’m sorry, do continue Mr. Lawrence. Did you meet stiff resistance on the part of the Iraqis?

LAWRENCE: No, they’re still there, but they’ve no boots. Prisoners, sir. We took them prisoners; the entire garrison. No, that’s not true. We killed some; too many really. I’ll manage it better next time. There’s been a lot of killing, one way or another. Cross my heart and hope to die, it’s all perfectly true.

And how… Yes, Mr. Bentley, what is it now?

BENTLEY: Well, it’s just I heard in Cairo that Major Lawrence has a horror of bloodshed.

FEISAL: That is exactly so. With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion: with me it is merely good manners. You may judge which motive is the more reliable.

Let me guess; yours? But you yourself have been quite expert at playing off against each other the interests of the Americans, British, Russians, Iranians…

FEISAL: … and the French interest too, of course. We must not forget the French now…

Quite. One final question, If I may. Looking forward, what do you see as the lasting impact of this war, say 10 years from now?

DRYDEN: Well. It seems we’re to have a British waterworks with an Arab flag on it. Do you think it was worth it?

ALLENBY: Not my business. Thank God I’m a soldier!

Thank you gentlemen.