What would an advertisement for the HAL 9000 in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey look like? Perhaps the copy would read something like:

Triggers routine analysis to help prevent component failure. … Designed to sense when any of up to six system components exceeds a safe threshold. The server will inform the system administrator who can calmly replace the component up to 48 hours before the projected point of failure.

But that’s actually IBM’s new advertising campaign, for their eServer xSeries, found in today’s Economist. Calmly? Like this? —

HAL: Just a moment. Just a moment. I’ve just picked up a fault in the AE 35 unit. It’s going to go 100 percent failure in 72 hours.

BOWMAN: It’s still within operational limits right now?

HAL: yes, and it will stay that way until it fails.

BOWMAN: Would you say that we have a reliable 72 hours until failure?

HAL: Yes, that’s a completely reliable figure.

BOWMAN: Well, I suppose we’ll have to bring it in…

All system administrators know how this eventually ends:

BOWMAN: Open the pod bay doors HAL.

HAL: I’m sorry Dave, Im afraid I can’t do that.

…

HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose any more. Good bye.

Would sys admins really steer their CTO towards the purchase of such a machine? Of course they would. And notice the shape and color of the machine shown on the ad. How… monolith-like. There is no doubt IBM is finally recognizing HAL as its prodigal son, some 25 years after the company withdrew permission for the use of its logo in the film when it became clear the computer in question was a paranoid schizophrenic. IBM thus joins the ranks of Mercedes, which co-opted the Janis Joplin song Mercedes Benz for a car commercial a few years back.