The first in an occasional series.Ten: Predatory seating.
Why do normally civil Stockholmers turn French when they set foot inside McDonalds? All the tables are usually taken, but not by people eating — no, they’re taken by people hoarding tables with a view to eventually eating, when their accomplices are done queueing for food. Because of these predatory seating tactics, the tables are occupied twice as long as necessary, which means there are only half as many tables available, which means everybody scrambles to find a table as soon as they enter because there is a shortage.
Cleary, there is a better way. Everybody should look for a table only when they have food in hand. There would be twice as many tables available, hence no shortage, hence no incentive for this race to a patently suboptimal solution.
But try to sit down at one of these hoarded tables and have a reasonable conversation with its usurper as to why their behavior is noncollaborative, parasitic and, frankly, rude, preferably while you start eating your Big Mac. They call you rude! Clearly, we have different ideas about what that word means.
To be fair, Stockholmers only seem to express this selfish meme in cafeteria situations. I can think of far more egregious behavior elsewhere in Europe. In New York, smoking in a non-smoking area is rude; but in France, asking somebody to stop smoking in a non-smoking area is rude. In London, cutting the queue is rude; in Rome, telling somebody off for cutting the queue is rude.
I suspect that the French and Italians behave this way because they balance individual freedom and the public good differently. To massively overgeneralize again: Southern Europeans expect and tolerate more selfish behavior in social contexts, whereas those of the anglo-saxon persuasion expect and tolerate their behavior being constrained for the common good. Which makes for a counterintuitive conclusion, given the far stronger libertarian roots of American politics, especially when set against the socialist heritage of large chunks of Europe.
This is a really interesting blog, for me as an American who is annoyed with the politics here and looking more to Northern Europe for inspiration… Och lär jag mig svenska. Jag ska resa till Uppsala i juni.
I hope Swedish ATM-lines are among the next nine. Swedes – and I am one, so I’ll generalize all I want – seem to be completely oblivious to these simple ideas:
1. To not breathe down the neck of the person using the ATM. I’ve been jostled while typing in the number, and I’ve had people cutting in line in front of me, when I’ve tried to keep a reasonable distance.
2. To have one line for two ATM’s next to each other. You can be three people in line waiting for the next free machine, when someone will start a new line at the other end, and – yes, it is considered incredibly rude to ask them to join the queue already in progress.
3. To let the line – such as it is – go in a logical direction. At the ATM across from the Tax building here in Stockholm, people will often let the line go out into the street, where cars do tend to drive by.
Drives me nuts, it does.
Hear, hear. The predatory seating habit is one of my pet peeves as well.
streetwalking
One of the greatest psychological benefits of going walking in the country around Barcelona is that it provides a break from bumping. When you’re walking down an empty pavement in town and someone approaches from the other direction, you know…
Stefan –what happens if it turns out you have ten things you hate *more* than predatory seating? Then seating wouldn’t make it to the list. By starting at ten, you may have created a real problem for yourself.
However, I’m assuming that the problem won’t emerge, because you must have thought about it already. By starting at ten, you are saying you actually already know the other nine things you hate about Stockholm more than predatory seating.
In which case, get it over with and tell us already.
I don’t see this as a special Swedish problem, the same thing happens in the US. Get smart Stefan, get a bit streetwise, that’s the fun with living in a different country.
Perhaps Stefan’s thinking of turning his blog into a sort of soap opera, encouraging people to tune back in with teasing cliffhangers (in this case, what’s No. 9? I am so tense my corset is busting) although I’m guessing it’s going to be more like The Archers, i.e. a soap where nothing really ever happens.
Charles, actually I can only think of two or three more at the moment, so now that I’ve promised a whole 10 things I hate, you can look forward to increasingly desperate or clearly made up hates, like
#3: Stockholm police sometimes shove me a little whenever they arrest me for dealing cocaine, and I’m not even resisting arrest, all that much.
#2: Why don’t the clerks at Seven-11 recognize a gun when I show them one?
#1: Stockholm bouncers don’t let me leave without paying.
Chris, I bet videoing someone trying to hoard a table at the Wall Street McDonalds during lunch hour would make for a great short movie. A very short movie.
garbage in, garbage out
Charliebear, you should write comment spam for a living.
Guilty as charged, your honour!
But really, I think you should spend less time in McDonalds, indeed everyone should. I don’t know, buy some herring and make a sandwich.
How about a list of things you feel lukewarm about in Stockholm?
– A lot of blonds. Sometimes too many. Needs more diversity. But I like chicks with blonde hair. Don’t know exactly how to call this one.
– Meatballs. They’re OK, but I miss the Italian kind I had on Mott Street. On the other hand they’re filling in winter.
– Massage. I prefer shiatsu and found Swedish massage not so good for me. I only go about once a month now.
– The weather. Great summers, but fall is just so-so, and the spring is too rainy. The people here like to go into the forest and be melancholy in the winter time. I think this is a little pyscho. On the other hand, it’s easy to get a seat at McDonalds this time of year.
Stop eating at McDonalds and lose one worry.
I would love to video a bunch of coconu . . .sorry, a bunch of Wall Street honchos munching away on their Big Macs.
I agree… you should just stop eating at McDonalds… thought I agree that this table holding thing creates the very shortage it proposes to solve. urk. Here in Quebec what I hate is queuing up for city buses in this long interminable line. Since people are going different distances (ie if I am getting off in three stops, I DONT want to be stuck sitting in a seat next to a window, with all the aisles full), it makes no sense to line up to get a “good seat” as if we were all going on a two hour trip, and if you were first in line you’d get to sit in a seat, and if you were last you’d have to stand up. Makes no sense. Where I grew up, you’d just all sit down or hang around, or even browse in the local shop while waiting, and then the bus would pull up, and people would enter as grains of sand going down a funnel. But no, here even in rain, one is expected to line up and wait unmoving, for the city bus. aagh. Ditch McDonalds and I’ll try to ride my bike more often!
Which is worse – walking in to a McDonalds and finding ALL the seats hoarded, or getting done buying your food and finding ALL the seats actually taken?
Better safe than sorry, guess swedes are just better at planning ahead.