After some snarky comments on my last post, I feel compelled to explain why I eat at McDonalds.
Every saturday, no matter where I am in the world, I seek out a mint copy of The Economist and then a nearby McDonalds, and read the leaders over a Big Mac meal. It’s one thing to read about the forces that propel society today; it’s quite another to see the gears clicking at close quarters. Globalization, mass customization, marketing, consumerism… McDonalds rides the crest of all these waves, producing something as basic as a fast meal, yet managing to convince the locals from Bali to Barcelona that they want it. It’s an amazing feat. By going to McDonalds, I make sure I understand, at a visceral gut levelBonus pun., how the world works. That is why I eat at McDonalds.
But I lie. Who am I kidding?
I was imprinted at an early age, when road trips with my parents across the US were punctured at regular intervals with screams of “McDonalds!” as yet another set of arches floated into view on the horizon. My sister and I vied for the honor of being first to see the next one, but to win you had to have the best view, and to have the best view you had to have the middle bit of the back seat, so we fought a lot over that.
But it was worth it. On road trips, our family had a symbiotic relationship with McDonalds — a pact: We the offspring promised to behave if at regular intervals we could partake in a simple Pavlovian routine: Arches appear, we scream, we stop, we gorge, we shut up. My parents were happy, we were happy, and above all, McDonalds was happy. To this day, I see nothing wrong with that, and I don’t even have kids. People who do seem even more grateful to McDonalds.
Over the years, I have become an expert rationalizer for my visits to McDonalds. Here are a few more ways in which I tell myself that eating at McDonalds teaches me things I will not learn anywhere else:
Meet the locals: It’s they who eat at McDonalds in Barcelona; the foreigners sit at Café Zurich being fleeced for their authentic experience. In Moscow in 1993, I stood in line together with hundreds of others in eager anticipation, dollars in hand, to be met by an absurdly eager Russian serving crew. Russian and eager! If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought McDonalds was holding their loved ones hostage at gunpoint out the back.
Make a statement: In Brussels, I make a point of ordering in Flemish: I will say “Een Big Mac, een groot friet, en een cola” and the response, often, is a surly “quoi?”. Then, depending on my mood, I will either repeat the order in slower Flemish, or else breezily in French, thereby clearly showing how linguistically superior I am to a high school kid making minimum wage.
Also, whenever the server asks me if I want to “supersize” or “plusmeny” my order, I make a point of refusing. This way, I am signalling to McDonalds that I am immune to their marketing ploys; I’m the one making the decisions here, and that I know exactly what I wantDeep in the inner sanctum of the McDonalds University library, I am sure their sacred texts mention this as the main reason for asking me. “Let the customer say no; give them a sense of empowerment that they will want to repeat.”.
Consumerism is good: People say that democracies do not go at war with each other. I’ll go further: Countries with McDonaldses in them do not go to war with each other. And that can only be a good thing.
You might think I am crazy, but I and my sons have visited McDonalds in every country we visit, just to see the differencies. Every country put its own mark on it. Look the chairs in a german McDonalds! Taste the fish in the norwegian MD. I promise, they are all different.
I imagine you’re going to get a lot of comments on this. I’ve got a lot of comments on this, but I will save you the hours of pontificating (and ever-expanding-waist navel gazing) to pick at your last point there.
Thomas Friedman came up with the “no two countries that have McDonalds in them have ever gone to war” idea in …wait for it… 1996.
He was proven wrong within three years when we (NATO) bombed the hell out of Belgrade and it’s McDonalds.
The Golden Arches Theory of IR. One more bit of trite what-passes-for-thinking in Thomas Friedman’s collected works. Can’t think why Jame likes him.
I’ve got nothing against McD’s, but I can’t eat their beef any more, makes me feel queezy. Their fake chicken and fish on the other hand I’m quite happy with, even if BK is better.
I hate it when famous people preëmptively plagiarize my ideas, even if they’re wrong,
it would explain, however, what Tom Friedman has that time machine for…
Hot side hot, cold side cold
Stefan Geens likes McDonalds. Who woulda thought? I wholeheartedly support* him in his dining habits. *Note: I grew up on the stuff. I don’t so much like it as I am mildly addicted to it. After long periods of abstinence, just the smell of frying potat…
I tended not to visit McDonalds when traveling, but I did have two cultural experiences in them. My first one in Brussels revealed McBeer and a very different attitude toward alcohol; being 20 years old I found this extremely cool, but stopped going because in Belgium, Mickey D’s is not the optimal spot for a brewski.
Second, similar to Stefan’s Russia experience, I ended up in Budapest’s first McDonalds. Never had I been in a restaurant so spotless, with such great service provided by teenagers giddy with happiness. They danced, they sang, they bloody whistled while they worked.
For a time I binged on the stuff but nowadays avoid it almost entirely, mainly because it doesn’t sit well and is sometimes gross, although it can be useful combatting hangovers. But the smell of McDonalds french fries I’m sure was purpose-built to be addictive; whenever I smell it, I crave a meal there. I’ve learned to resist, but the pull is there, even though my brain knows I don’t actually like it.
I read Stefan’s interaction with his sister on the highway with interest. I suspect that McDonalds is such a sadly fixed part of everyone’s childhood that there are invariably a few family lore episodes involving McDonalds.
I remember a friend’s dotty mother driving up to what she thought was the drivethrough radio and ordering take away- she was mortified to learn that it was the rubbish bin… There was the first date of another friend of mine- when she was fifteen. The fellow she was with was also fifteen and of course, broke. He took her to McDonalds, found a table and with a flourish produced an elegant tablecloth and candlestick borrowed from his parents house, and said to his date in an intimate whisper “Please, feel free to order anything you want…”
And since the meals are increasing all the time, even without ordering the super-extra-plus-size, you’re not really escaping their ploy of churning bigger volumes of e.coli-infected meat down your throat.
Do you know Stefan, that there is only supposed to be one place on earth where McDonalds have lost out to another fast food chain and actually closed their restaurants?
This place is called “Norrland” and happens to be the two thirds of Sweden that is situated somewhat north of Stockholm – for those of you unfamiliar with Swedish geography.
I am not sure why exactly, McDonalds faired badly in Norrland. The indigenous competitor, “Max” may offer better somewhat better burgers but then so does Burger King. Anyway, perhaps the Swedish Airforce should not postpone its orders for all those new fighter planes. Maybe Norrland is in danger of being invaded?
McDonalds also plays second-fiddle in the Philippines to local chain Jolly Bee.
“Preëmptively”? A clear sign of a New Yorker reader. (The only place I have *ever* seen that, and coöperate).
Well spotted. Go ahead, use that diaeresis, you know you want to, and it’s for a good cause.
All of this alcohol, I bet there are a lot of Swedes who need a bit of diaerisis, as their Japanese binge drinking partners would put it.
ironically, i never ate at McD’s when i lived in the states. a little greasy taco stand with non-english speaking mexicans or a tasty slice of nyc pizza won every time. however, in germany i am often compelled to go for a burger because of the utterly inferior fast food here. i mean, who in their right mind wants a slab of cold fish on some dry roll from Nordsee? i’ll take McDreck (McDirt as it’s known here) over that any day.
Actually, the place in Norrland referred to above is called Umeå. And reason why McD had to close was a combination of the following reasons:
1. Many people in Umeå are leftist who see McD as a symbol of evil Capitalism
2. Many people in Umeå are vegetarians.
3. At the other burger place (MAX), u can eat your burger using fork and knife.
And – to complete the strory – McD came back after the defeat. So, in Umeå McD now provide knife and fork to those who want.
I’ve heard there was also a fourth reason: The Norrlanders preferred the considerably slower service at Max to McD, since — as it is not unususal up there to drive 300 km just to grab a burger — you don’t really mind waiting half an hour for your meal. It is rather seen as a bonus.
yea man mcdonalds rox. who ever doesn’t eat at mcodonalds is really missing out on the food. For all you vegans, vegetarians, fruitarians, and other tarians you’ll have an unhappy life an while ur dieing, ur last regret will be “o shoot i wish i had a big mac rite now!”
“For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables.” -New Testament, Romans 14:2
Even the bible speaks out against vegetarians. Enough said. Eat McDonalds. It tastes good, don’t try and trick yourself into thinking it’s “gross.”
Dude your translation of that scripture is suspect(check out the KJV)…God told Adam and Eve to eat freely of any fruit bearing tree in the Garden of Eden, but not of the tree of good and evil. Well you know the rest..my point is God made them vegetarians at first…not till the fall did they become omnivores!
McD’s is McNasty!