Let’s pretend for a moment, for the sake of a nifty segue and the argument that follows it, that Eskimos do indeed have many precise words for snow because they are steeped in it — literally.
By the same token, then, it must mean something that the Swedish language has many more precise words for defining family relationships than does English. I’ve only just now realized this, because I myself have always been tone deaf when it comes to such words. This is something that I blame on my Dutch, by the way: That language is even less precise than English on this matter, since both nephews/nieces and cousins are called neven/nichten [Dutch].
In Swedish, the exact term for nephew/niece depends not just on the sex of the person in question, but also on the sex of the parent related to you. So the son of your brother is brorson, that of your sister systerson — and then there is brorsdotter and systerdotter for any nieces you might have.
This same logic applies to grandparents. With far meaning father and mor meaning mother, the four possible combinations are farfar, mormor, farmor and morfar. Unfortunately, this is farmor complicated than I can handle because I can never remember if the first bit begets the second or vice versaIt turns out the second bit begets the first.. But it gets farfar worse: Great grandparents also have precise definitions: quickly now, there’s farfars far, farfars mor, farmors far, farmors mor, morfars far, morfars mor, mormors far, and finally, mormors mor, who recently was eulogized in this Kylie Minogue song (iTunes URL). Do you even know the names of any of your great grandparents?
Some Swedish words are too good to be kept by Swedes all to themselves and should be adopted by anglophiles immediately. In English, for example, “stepmother” is far too monolithic a notion: Swedes understand there can be bad, neutral and good step parents, and have dignified each with a proper term. There is styvmor, the kind that Cinderella had; plastmamma — literally, plastic mother — which is neutral; and finally, the wonderful bonusmamma, which means exactly what you think it does.
Now, why do the Swedes have so many words for relatives? Because they are dysfunctional socialists intent on banishing the family? Or because family is so important that each relationship is lovingly given due recognition? Or maybe because it facilitates keeping track of the score in Strindbergian family feuds? My guess is that the truth lies somewhere between options two and three.
What’s a fourth cousin?
You missed the “sonson” and the “dotterdotter” osv. Personally, I have never been able to figure out what “svåger” and “svägerska” means.
Try to listen to the song “Släkthuset” by Povel Ramel. You will understand how right you are. But then you never doubted that, of course 😉
Fourth cousin is “brylling” or “fyrmänning.” As for remembering “who begets who,” simply consider all parts except the last to be in the possessive form. Than farmor becomes “fars mor.”
If you want an historical account of the importance of family (in the wider sence), you should read the Icelandic sagas, and esp. Njala. They go further than even Márquez.
Secondly, the article about matrimonial collaps, you posted, is a masterpiece when it comes to interpreting statistics according to your beliefs. It misses the point that Scandinavian countries offer nearly equal rights for “sambos” vis-a-vis married couples. Together with the weak position of the church, which diminishes the religous symbolism of marriage, there is simply little reason to wed. (Which of course is an interpretation according to my beliefs…)
The Chinese have a thorough system for categorizing relations, one which I also found impossible to keep track of. If anything theirs is even more specific than Swedes’, differentiating older and younger brothers or sisters, for example. The family in Chinese culture is the structure through which everything else is experienced.
I believe the explanation favored by historians has to do with inheritance laws in the early medieval period. The details escape me.
Jame –what about sex? I thought it was only in West Virginia that the family is the structure through which that is experienced.
These are great words- I think we should start using them in Dutch as well to compensate for their lack of imagination. Though maybe because we didn’t have such words we have come up with our own family alernatives, like Mabi. I wonder if such family variations might not be so rich in Sweden? Perhaps you could extend your research?
In Gotland (Swedish island in the Baltic), we systematically referred to first, second, third, fourth etc cousins as A-cousins, B-cousins, C-cousins, etc.
If you’re seven years old, and your mother has married a new man. Not only has he moved in, they’ve already given you a little baby brother.
What should you call your mother’s new man? What should the little brother (eventually) call his sister’s dad?
Currently in use in Sweden is horrible things like “plastic dad” och “bonus dad” (which is strange since the new man usually arrives because the old relationship has crashed, not because it has flown on and on for many bonus miles.)
Well, a good Swedish solution is this: Your mother’s new man has become your “brorpappa” – your brother’s father. And that brother will eventually call his sister’s father his “systerpappa” – sister’s father.
It’s neutral, and similar to “sister’s son” and “brother’s daughter”. The only change is that before families were transformed over lifetime, you only had to track changes downward in the family tree – now, you have to keep track in “upward” changes, too.
See Nya ord för familjen
http://kornet.nu/blindhona/arkiv/000157.html
That is so civilised and liberal. Not at all like the sinister “stepmother” and “stepsisters” which has Cinderella connotations.
Kartika– well, civilized and liberal until someone conmes along and writes a story about an evil systermama being nasty to her partnerdyotter, and then that name will have nasty connotations, too.
My limited knowledge of Cambodian language suggests a more complex hierarchy than English, like the Chinese.
For example, a younger sister has a particular name (“ohn” – pronounced like English “own”). And older sister would have a different word, but I’m not sure if there is also a neutral word for sister.
Similarly, my nieces (raised by my adopted sister from Cambodia and her Cambodian husband) refer to their Cambodian cousins as little brother and little sister and some of their aunts and uncles as a second mothers and second fathers.
To my family (the non-Cambodian members, myself included) this is vaguely distressing and I’m not sure why. Is it because culturally we value the nuclear family unit above the extended family and see their use of these words as somehow repudiating my sister’s importance to her children?
But I wonder if maybe something isn’t just getting lost in the translation. Maybe there is an affectionate term for second mother in Cambodian much like the Swedish “bonusmamma” and similar words to designate family members — or even non-family members — who are very close. Much in the same way there are friends of the family Americans will refer to as “aunt” and “uncle” even though we are not related.
yes, Charles – at least in the old days, the family very much determined who you ended up having sex with, although men with enough wealth could indulge outside in the cat houses.
I see your point Charles, but that sort of story with a dotty partnerdyotter is far to Dr Seussy to be sinister….
Hey, Stefan, this is great! I had no idea Swedish was so particular about family relations.
I recently found out that what in Romanian we call something like second or third cousin (or sometimes simply nephew or uncle), in English is a “second cousin once removed” which cracks me up…
In Romanian, we have the same names for granddaughter and niece (nepoata), I think just like in Italian (nipota) and respectively: grandson/nephew (nepot) like the Italian nipote.
We don’t even make a difference between say halfbrother and stepbrother, we have the same “frate vitreg.”
However, what maybe just the oriental languages might have is the 3 degrees of politeness when we address someone (‘tu’, ‘dumneata’ and ‘dumneavoastra’).
I find all this fascinating. Please share more of the Swedish peculiarities.
On the naming of grandparents
If The Naming of Cats is a difficult thing then the naming of grandparents is an even greater challenge. Other grandparents in my family go by the following names: Mabi, Moeke, Vake, Mamilou, Papilou, Boma, Bompa, Oma and Opa. I…