The fifth in an occasional series.
Ten: Predatory seating
Nine: Culinary relativism
Eight: Preëmptive planning
Seven: Premature masticationSix: Irrational discalceation.
This one really baffles me. If you’ve never been here you might think I’m exaggerating, but trust me, it’s a law of Swedish nature: Swedes will not enter anyone’s home until they’ve taken off their shoes.
I cannot figure out why. During my first few months here, in the autumn of 2002, I wandered about many a friend’s apartment, shod and oblivious to the silent anguish I was causing them as they followed me around in their socks, too polite to enforce the terms of use of their hardwood floors.
Then, in the winter, I too started taking off my heavy boots, caked in snow, as I got home. But this made sense — my boots were dirty. Come spring, however, there was no sign of this habit letting up among locals. Shoes came off indoors, even when it was sunny and dry outside and not a speck of dirt sullied new sneakersNow that I’ve experimented with unshod home life, I can tell you I don’t like it. Cooking without shoes makes me feel vulnerable. Likewise when I wash up the dishes. I feel like I use up socks too rapidly. I stub my toes. I can’t just go outside on a whim..
I’ve considered and subsequently discarded various theories as to what might explain this behavior. It cannot be that Swedes do not want to cause a ruckus with downstairs neighbors: Joachim and Elise have no-one living below them; and people who live in detached houses discalceate too. Is it a bizarre sock fetish? No, because many actually switch to slippers when they get home. Are Stockholm streets particularly prone to wayward dogpoop? On the contrary, they are completely devoid of gunk, slime, and the garbage juice that often finds its way onto New York pavements. Could it be that they are so enamored of their hardwood floors that they don’t wan’t to “use them up?” That would be a very curious departure from an otherwise vigorous culture of consumption: Swedes don’t encase the cushions of their IKEA furniture in plastic, for example, and they do actually use their espresso machines. Like I said, I’m baffled.
I now suspect it is a deep psychosis. Last weekend, when Christine, my Swedish teacher, came by for lessons on a dry and sunny day, I told her there was really no need to take off her shoes. She look so unhappy. “But it feels so wrong!” she said finally, staring at the floor she’d have to violate. She took her shoes off.
Imagine that. It always annoyed me that people don’t take their shoes of in american movies and TV-shows, since I suspected that was done just so the characters wouldn’t have to bend over all the time. But you say that is reality? Weird.
Even when it’s not snowy out and you haven’t stepped in something stinky and gooey, shoes are still quite dirty, just from being outside.
I don’t think taking shoes off inside is even remotely weird, just pragmatism that is probably sprung from winter situations, but that still makes perfect sense even on a dry summer’s day.
Vi amerikanska är ju bekväma.
Actually I take off my shoes too, but that might be due to my Chinese parents.
Germans do that too … take off their shoes in the hallway, the Japanese do it too. It surprised me more that Americans don’t.
There are exceptions to the rule: people wear their shoes inside in most Swedish upper class homes. I learned that the hard way, dating a rich kid (but being raised in a working class environment) – walking around in socks was a major faux pas, evidently.
Stefan, you are welcome in my office or home any day of the week. Sometimes, I change to slippers, but a lot of times, I just leave the shoes on.
Taking off my shoes means exposing the remainder of the world to my feet and their smell. I may be female, but that doesn’t mean my feet don’t sweat. It also means making sure I leave the house in new socks, rather than those comfortably worn-in socks with the holes in the heels. I don’t want my friends to see that!
But, I live in Stockholm now. And in Stockholm, shoes are removed at the door. I’m learning, slowly.
In the meantime, you can leave your shoes on when you come to visit me.
So, I can blame my svenska rötter for obsessive shoe removal? I can tell Mother I’m not Japanese after all?
Thanks for sharing this!
I live in Gothenburg and I take great pleasure in telling people they can keep their shoes on. But if I had a nice thick carpet I might think differently.
the type of floor should make the difference.
Carpet – shoes off
Hardwood – shoes can stay on
Shoes-off is the rule across Asia, one of the few things all these countries have in common. Westerners here usually adopt the habit. One outcome is that I’m always buying new socks; holes won’t do.
Hysterical. I too thought this was so weird when I lived in Sweden. I remember once I was going somewhere with my friend. We went to the front door and put our shoes on. As we walked out, my friend remembered she had left her car keys on the desk upstairs. She went back inside, TOOK HER SHOES OFF, ran upstairs to get the key, and put her shoes back on. Unbelieveably funny.
I was forever falling down her slick wood stairs; I had no traction whatsoever in just socks. And her family insisted that I wear sandals when I went into the basement (I don’t know why I couldn’t just wear my regular shoes), but the only sandals that fit me belonged to her dad, and since my feet were just a tad larger than his, I got to feel like a freak.
It is custom in Canada to take off your shoes before entering the house independent of season as well — when I was about to move to the United States, many friends commented that wearing your shoes indoors was one of the ‘weird’ things that Americans do. I guess it’s all a matter of cultural relativity.
Keeping your feet locked up in shoes all day isn’t my idea of fun. At home I don’t even wear socks, so I really don’t want any gravel under my feet. And yes, I don’t have wall-to-wall carpets to suck up the dirt, but 70 year old oak floors, thank you.
i’ve gotten used to in germany. at home i actually dig wearing slippers now, especially the cool retro East German ones i have. but i hate de-shoeing at other people’s places. sitting around in socks gives me that exposed feeling you mentioned. but seriously get yourself some nice comfy slippers and you never look back.
Just for the record, it’s not just Americans who keep their shoes on. The further south you go in Europe, the more they are into their shoes. Belgians keep their shoes on, for example, and you would never, ever see a Milanese walk around in socks.
Stefan, I thought only the Romanians took off their shoes! I am surprised the Swedes do it at such a large scale! I personally don’t like the habit, but it’s more comfortable to walk in slippers when you come home. I hate taking off my shoes on a visit though.
Stefan: it is just a matter of biology and practicality, just like our “strange” Swedish eating habits. When I get hungry, I eat. That is approximately every four hours, starting with breakfast at seven in the morning. And as soon as I get the chance, I take my shoes off. Feet don’t like being trapped in shoes all day. Maybe if people of other nationalities took their shoes off more often, they wouldn’t smell so bad… ;o)Something which I must add that I have never encountered and therefore think is exaggerated.
What do kids in high school do? do they take their shoes off when they enter every classroom? Does the teacher? Do they take their shoes off in the halls? What about when you go into a bank? What about when the bank manager greets you in the bank lobby, then goes back into the offices? What happens in the doctor’s surgery?
What happens when people have holes in their socks?
I’m bursting with questions about this.
Vanessa: Kids in kindergarten take their shoes off. School kids (and teachers) don’t. I remember that as being very confusing when I started school, age seven. Doctors and nurses working in the surgery room at least *used* to wear clogs provided by the hospital, they might have changed to slippers. And most hospitals have protection-thingys (in thin cloth-like paper) to wear outside your shoes.
Hehe… My mother (no, not upper class, but from “good upbringing” 😉 is not impressed with this removal-of-shoes thing. And frankly, I’m not either. I mean, if you come over to my place and we hang out, by all means take your shoes off and get comfy. I don’t wear shoes either when I put my feet up on the couch at night. But for God’s sake, we’re all adults; If you mind the cleaning or the wear, don’t have people over and get industrial grade floors. Sweden is a country full of floors that have withstood constant shoeladden trodding over many many years. Your soft sneakers won’t kill them.
One seriously funny sight is when you go to a private party in Sthlm city, with plenty of classy young people, all dressed to kill. And noone is wearing shoes. The guys are wearing their suits, ties, looking all smart. Yeah right, with no shoes on… Girls likewise. At such occasions at my own house, I forbid people to degrade themselves by taking their shoes off.
Of course, the true gentleman/gentlewoman solves this problem by wearing “galoscher” (gumshoe?) or just bringing a bag with a pair of nice indoor shoes.
I live part time in Ukraine, it is customary to remove your shoes here. I am from America, and I generally wear my shoes in my house, although most of the time I am barefoot. However, I do enjoy wearing houseslippers, but even they make my feet feel “cooped up.” We have several pairs of “guest slippers” here for our friends, they don’t seem to mind sharing, but I am not a big fan of it. Ah, local customs.
I am so surprised to find out that shoes are off in so many cultures. I thought this was so Turkish (apart from Asia). Most Turks also take their shoes off when they come home. We all own some sort of slippers. Some take them off immediately, some like us who are less concerned about germs (probably wrongfully as Istanbul is no Stockholm)when it is time to relax, put your feet up, etc. The issue of making or allowing your guests to take their shoes off is a class thing here as well. It is “always” at the lower socioeconomic level, “depends on the family” with the middle class, and “never ever” with anything upwards. I do agree that taking shoes off next to anyone other than immediate family or very close friends is very weird and naked. On the other hand, I hate seeing muddy marks on my clean floors (this happens every time it rains). So most Turkish homes have a midway solution. A damp cleaning cloth placed on and tucked under the doormat. So basically a wetish doormat.
It seems that Americans are in the minority in not removing their shoes. Removing shoes just makes sense–it helps keep the house clean and it is more comfortable.
What are the arguments against removing shoes when entering someone’s house? Wear cotton socks and use baby powder if your feet smell–if you had horrible dandruff would you deal with it or would you wear a hat everywhere you go?
Being a Canadian, I am delighted to be able to add to my list of reasons that Canadians are not the same as Americans.
I know I’m joining the conversation late, but as an American living in Sweden I couldn’t resist commenting on this topic.
While I think that taking your shoes off is a really good thing (it’s to the point now that when I watch American movies I cringe when the characters walk in the house w their shoes on) I still find the skogräns (shoe border) at my local gym hilarious.
At the gym’s entrance there’s a thick red line announcing the end of the outer-shoe realm and the start of the shoe-free realm. Sometimes they even have guards there enforcing the rule!!
I lived in Canada for 10 years and I learned to take off my shoes before entering a house. Now I live in Italy but I still have this habit and I like it so much to walk around my house wearing soft slippers. My friends here find very strange to see me leave my shoes out of the door but now it’s something I do automatically. If I have an elegant dinner I need to remember myself to wear my shoes.
This is the first thing I disagree with on this list. In a civilized culture, you take off your shoes when entering a house or an apartment.
Taking shoes off is just a matter of common sense. Americans spend a lot of money carpeting their houses, then they have to afford a vacuum cleaner to keep it tidy. That’s silly!
In countries with a high standard of living, kids take their shoes off before entering the classroom and at home children always go in their socks, so floors are always spotless. I personally think this is a good habit, and never asked myself whether boys attending school in socks was a strange practice.
I wish people in other countries took shoes off not only at home, but in classrooms
Just a comment on the issue of the Milanese wearing shoes indoors. I’ve lived in Milan for a year and never seen anyone wearing their shoes indoors. I guess they don’t want to ruin their floor either. Strange people…
I think this is horrible, i mean look at all u people, that r trying 2 make this better but r just arguing on whats right and whats good. Listen 2 yourself 4 a second. Its like kids playing around in the playground. Everybody have different opinions about different things. In this case, its 2 wear shoes inside the house or not. Whats the point? either u wear ur shoes indide the house as most of the people do, and like the japanses peoples tradition. OR u dont, u’ll take them off when u go indside the house.
Why arguing about something so silly and then dont even come up with a good way 2 get it over with anyway.-its pointless in this case, as it is in many others 2. Just think 2 a second. is it many people that actually do what other people have told them 2 do? is it many people that belive that other people have right all the time. The answer is no- its not always everybody that belive that other people have right, but they dont say that. In this case u r. But is it helping any better 2 write on this site what u think about the americans and the swedish having a different view on what’s good and not=?!! The problem is that i dont think u have realized that this have been going around in many situations. It will never stop unless u do something about it. Would u? ITS UR OPTION!- again, u’ll do what u think is more comfortable with u. I cant say anymore. I just think it would be nice if some1 would understand, that this is what u get, unless u dont do something about it.
Thank you for ur understanding.(15 year old girl)
In England people rarely remove their shoes in another person’s house, unless they are feeling very casual.
My family have light carpets and so remove their shoes, but dont impose this custom on visitors.
When I have my own place I wll.
Shoes pick up all manner of dirt. Chemicals in particular are very unhealthy and can cause children to develope allergies.
Swedish people have more sense.
Here in Virginia, we wear shoes indoors, the same way most Americans do. Certainly if my shoes were dirty or muddy, I’d take them off, but otherwise I’d think nothing of wearing them inside someone’s house.
When I went to visit a friend in Buffalo, NY, I thought nothing of wearing my shoes inside, but she immediately had me take them off and told me in Buffalo it’s customary to remove one’s shoes before entering a guest’s house. Sure enough, all of her friends who came over took their shoes off right at the door. I had no idea at the time that there was anywhere in the U.S. where this was done (granted, this custom probably originated from Buffalo’s proximity to Canada).
Similarly, when she visited me, she was shocked to see that everybody wore shoes indoors and kept complaining to me that it felt wrong or offensive.
It’s just always seemed natural to me to wear shoes inside–as far as I can see, the carpet is meant to be walked on, and shoes only carry a small amount of dirt anyway.
For those people who live in “no-shoes” areas, what happens when you throw a party? Do you just have a giant mountain of shoes at the front door? Would someone like a plumber or electrician also be expected to take off his/her shoes at the door?
I live in Germany and I know some people that ask you to take your shoes off and some that don’t. I take my shoes off at home most of the time because I just like to walk around in socks, it’s just so much more comfortable. I wear slippers when I spent a longer period of time in the kitchen where the floor is cold. When I visit a good friend it’s much more likely they’ll aks me to take my shoes off than when I visit someone I don’t know so well. Many people ask you if you want them to take their shoes off, and most peopel I know say that it’s up to you. So you can if you want to or if you feel it’s polite, but you don’t have to if you find it strange or inapproriate or you have holes in your socks. 😉 And at a party you’d never have to take off your shoes, that’d just be weird. I remember we didn’t wear shoes in kindergarten but we did in school, and I wouldn’t have liked to take them off there, it’s a public place and you wear shoes in public places in Germany. However, I don’t find it that weird to take your shoes off inside. It’s definitely better for your feet.
Hi… I came about this blog post as I was looking to find what is tradition in Britain with regards to shoes. I had some guests today from Britain, and they did walk into the house with their shoes on. This was ‘different’ for me, as we (and everyone we ever knew in Canada) take off our shoes in the entry to the home. We do not do it right outside, but inside, and there is usually a mat of some kind to leave the shoes at.
I take no offense, I figured this had to do with British mannerisms/tradition. I just was curious, that is why I looked this up.
I do see plenty of good in taking the shoes off.. carpet and flooring can be expensive and the less dirt brought in on it, the longer it will last. I do have hard-wood floors, and in looking up hard-wood floor care, one key aspect was to keep dirt out.
Now… in addition to keeping the street dirt out, I am a nurse and know that any number of disgusting bacteria can be brought in on footwear, I cringe at thinking what could be brought in if people were to routinely walk in with shoes on.
A question comes to mind… if people routinely wear shoes into homes, do the actual home-owners ever go barefoot? I find such comfort and ‘at home-ness’ when I go down to my bare-feet, but could not if people wore their shoes in the home at will. I would not, and could not EVER go barefoot in the hospital where I work, I KNOW some serious ‘messes’ get on them floors and have walked through them with my shoes, inadvertently. I will not wear my workshoes in my home – they are taken off at work, I switch to other shoes and go home, and then, leave my outdoor shoes in the garage or front entrance where I switch to some indoor slippers, for the purpose of wearing in my home. (hmm… long response, I may have to do my own blogpost about this sometime).
Desiree, I am ashamed of the British custom of wearing shoes in homes.
And yes, they do go barefoot sometimes on the same floors that have been trodden on by lots of shoes.
I already have a blogspot on this subject.
“For those people who live in “no-shoes” areas, what happens when you throw a party? Do you just have a giant mountain of shoes at the front door?”
Yes.
“Would someone like a plumber or electrician also be expected to take off his/her shoes at the door?”
Not necessarily. I really, really prefer when they do, though.
//JJ
Taking shoes off when entering a house is good hygiene.
Shoes are dirty. Imagine if your guest has just stepped in dog shit unknowingly and you invited him/her in with shoes on please… Hahhahaha… Imagine…
Johan, I dont live in a ‘no-shoes’ are, but I do ask for shoes off in my home.
I threw a party in October and specified on the invitations that I wanted guests to take their shoes off.
There were lots of shoes by the door. A couple of people brought slippers.
Nobody complained and everybody had a good time.