The eighth in an occasional series.
Ten: Predatory seating
Nine: Culinary relativism
Eight: Preëmptive planning
Seven: Premature mastication
Six: Irrational discalceation
Five: Radiotjänst i Kiruna AB
Four: Temporal engineering
Three: Tunnelbana vision
In New York, on the subway during rush hour, the locals have adopted highly evolved rules of behavior aimed at maximizing the efficiency of the transfer of passengers out of and then into the carriages at subway stops, with a view to getting the train rolling again ASAP. The process is one of constant sorting — between stops, new passengers and those not about to get off slowly trade places with those who are almost at their destination. Then, when the doors open, passengers about to get on the train leave a wide berth for those streaming off. They don’t get on until everybody who wants to get off does so.
The efficacy of these rules is self-evident. How they came about spontaneously is puzzling only until you’ve literally stood between a New Yorker and her way home in the evening. The elbow in your groin was not just a rude push aside; it was a public service announcement, whose content was: “During rush hour, getting out of each other’s way is not just a courtesy, it is the fastest way to your destination. Jerk.” It’s called militant utility maximization, and it is what makes New York so special.
In fact, this week I shall miss riding the New York subway, because those who do will be able to savor watching clumps of scared-looking Republicans from Topeka or Tampa as they learn this very lesson.
On the Stockholm tunnelbana, meanwhile, rush hour is still a Hobbesian state of nature. Getting on and getting off is attempted simultaneously. Some people who get on first will take one step past the door and plant themselves there, which is so convenient for them, so not for everyone else. In fact, there was one guy I saw on my ride home tonight (and if you guessed that he prompted this little tirade then you guessed right) whose thought process must have gone something like this:
It’s rush hour and I am standing right in front of the door through which I will eventually leave this train. That is quite clever of me. Oh look, we’ve arrived at a station that is not my destination and now my door opens. I shall just stand here, then. It seems that the young mother with the baby stroller behind me would like to get off, and the old lady with the walking aid would like to get on. I wonder how they are going to do this with me here. This could be quite difficult for them. Of course, I would never consider actually stepping out of the carriage for a moment, because this is not my destination — why would I get off the train if this is not where I get off the train?
Had I been the mother, that moron’s ankles would have been a lot bluer, but then I’m not quite up on the ethics of using baby strollers as weapons when there are babies in them. I myself practice the New York school of (dis)embarkment: A polite “ursäkta” (excuse me), a count to one-and-a-half, and then the full-on barge, taking assorted stragglers with me. And all so that they can get home faster tonight.
This is a major pet peeve of expats living in Hong Kong and China. It’s one reason why a lot of foreigners say (wrongly) that Chinese people are rude. Well, it’s true that the Chinese are often rude in the context of trains and elevators; some gweilos extrapolate this to manners in life generally. Crudely put, Chinese lack what we’d call civic society. People are considerate of their family members or people they know, but there’s no loyalty to the population at large (unless confronted by something external). Forget the stereotypes about Asians being robots, the Chinese are the most individualistic people I’ve ever met – way more than Americans – but unfortunately without the sense of citizenship that allows for people to cooperate and respect strangers, which is a product of Western culture.
So what makes the Swedes such poor neighbors in this regard, Stefan?
Jame, they’re not poor neighbors at all. This post, and my rant about predatory seating, just document two notable exceptions to an otherwise very civic society.
Why these exceptions? Both seem to occur when there is a perception of scarcity. When there is no such perception, Stockholmers are admirable queuers (for example for the ferries to the archipelago).
Stockholmers queue up for the bus in a very civilized fashion as well. I was surprised by this when I moved there (from Gothenburg, where people don’t queue for the bus).
That may be because on Stockholm busses we get on at the front and off at the end, so the cooperative model is imposed on us by the design of the bus.
Yes, but I read in the paper today (SvD, can’t find a link) that the Stockholm bus company (whatever it’s called) are going to let people enter the “Blue Buses” through the back doors (no sexual pun intended), in a project expected to cost 10 million SEK (!) to free-riders.
It Is The End of Civilised Society As We Know It.
If you buy a machete and announce a jihad on idiots in the Stockholm underground, may I join you? I promise to take as many morons with me as possible before succumbing to the anti-terrorist squad.
That, and placing their “stuff” (bags, purses, wet umbrellas, etc.) on the seat next to them as if to say, “don’t even think about sitting in the seat next to me.” And then they stare intently out the window to prove the point even further…and if you dare, if you do ask–very politely–if they will move said stuff so you too can sit…
Well! (big sigh…suck…and the glaring look) How rude of YOU!
Bad English, Stefan – I meant only in this context.
Maybe it’s a social valve thing. Sweden seems such a well-ordered, well-mannered society. Maybe there are these accepted quirks where people can wallow in jerkdom. Kind of like the Japanese penchant for violent porn.
As one who has been forced to use the south Swedish commuter trains, the “Pågatåg” (looks like tunnelbana but goes between towns and above ground), lately, I have also been wondering about the getting on and off thing. I can tell you that the people in Malmö and the very little town of Svedala are just as bad as the Stockholmers in this regard. I tend to use the New York style myself when this happens.
Actually, I used to be more bothered by people constantly knocking into me on the street and then never saying a word.
I rarely notice it now, though.
This subway behaviour has really bugged me ever since I moved back to Stockholm 8 years ago. It’s as if the seats will disappear once the people have gone off – so better get on and take one before time runs out!
I read something, not long ago, about bumping into people on the street without apologizing; that a sign of a true Big City is when BOTH appologizes! They did in Glasgow, which was the first lesson I learned there. And now it’s natural for me, although the automatic “sorry” comes out just like that – in English. It’s as if it wouldn’t suit in Swedish… hm.
Humoristic comment…but it seem such old news to me. Of course people get egoistic in the rush hour. And no, that is not equivalent to rationalistic.
Anyone bazzled by the Stockholm T-bana should take a train in the Dutch ‘Randstad’, the area in the west of the Netherlands between the four biggest cities (Amsterdam, Utrecht, Rotterdam, The Hague). This area is about the size of a metropole, distance between the cities are about 20-45 minutes by train. People push themselves into the wagon before others got out. And if you wait and spectate this scene and get in last, you know why…you will have to stand the whole ride. And even though I get to travel for free, being a student, it does piss me off that there’s not enough space for everyone to sit down.
I stayed in Stockholm for the last 2,5 months and just moved back to the Hague. The first thing I noticed and was sad about was the crowdedness in the Randstad. Whenever I asked any random Swede how many people (s)he thought lived in the Netherlands, they estimated between 5-11 million. When I told them it was in fact 16 million, their eyes usually rolled out.
No, Sweden is not that bad. Stockholm can’t be that bad.
Stefan, I think the reason Swedes behave this way is that they overly respect the “official rules” of society and don’t think so much about obeying society’s unwritten rules.
They think that if they obey the “Rules with a capital R”, rules that are written on signs — for example to stand on the right side of the escalator– then they have done their duty.
Swedes seem however often ignorant of the unwritten rules, for example that you should move out of the way for people getting off the train or that you should move your bag to make room for another person.
These unwritten rules require some sense of individual responsibility and and thinking about how others might feel due to your selfish behavior. Since it doesn’t actually say anywhere that you can’t stand in the way of people getting off the train, Swedes don’t think they are breaking any rules. In New York, I have found that people respect the official rules less, but give greater importance to unwritten rules about respecting others.
The rules of pushchair use in the face of commuter idiocy are fairly straighforward:
1.) Never shoot anyone in the back. Though if an ‘Excuse me’ receives no response a firm ‘Move your fat arse’ is acceptable, if no joy is received then sharp blows to the achilles tendons are recommended. Never go for the back of the knees as this could land the dunce in question in the pushchair. Learn the sign language for ‘Sorry, didn’t realise’.
2.) No quarter is to be given to anyone with full or peripheral view of the pushchair unless canes, zimmer frames, labradors or ‘ledsagor’ are in evidence.
3.) Before entering the station provide the toddler with a large pot of yoghurt.
4.) The No prisoners’ technique of disembarkation is standard, any trouser material or flesh attached to the wheels is easily cleaned off.
5.) Hanging bells on the pushchair and repeating kyrieleison pighè pighè is encouraged for users of tvillingvagnar.
You have to remember, urban culture in Sweden is only a little more than 100 years old. Stockholm was founded 750 years ago on a little island and they didn’t have a need to extend the town borders until the late 1800.
New Yorkers have had 400 years to get it right.
As far as personal space and public space goes – Sweden is the only place in the world I’ve found that people try to pass you in revolving doors.
*hahaha* Oh dear John, that brought laughing-tears to my eyes, so true.
Anyone else here have the pleasure of being attacked from behind by people wanting to get on, as you stand outside, making that wide gap that allows passengers to get off first? Last time it happened to me the ambush came from a little ol’ lady with a cane. Oh my!
In Copenhagen, people purge onto the trains without giving leaving passengers a second thought. Once when I arrived and got pushed back inside as everyone wanted on before I had a chance to get off, I kamikazed out of the train large suitcases in each hand forcefully dragging the idiots off the train with me in the process all the while screaming “None too bright are ya?”. Guess who got in trouble for that. Oh yeah, me. It was fun.
Hey…
“Getting on and getting off is attempted simultaneously. Some people who get on first will take one step past the door and plant themselves there, which is so convenient for them, so not for everyone else”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. me recognise a looooooott… 🙂 me angry too… 🙂
Anyway, guess I’m a bit too late with my comment here… wanted to give a comment on how it is here in Copenhagen, where I live now, or where I come from , Rotterdam (in the Netherlands, for all the Yanks that are reading this)…
But yes, so much for some courtesy, right? Slowly I see a discussion coming up on it, recently a part of the metro systems newsletter here in CPH was dedicated to ‘our’ problem. Still, we’ve got a loooong way to go!
Seriously, try and tell people to be patient, ask them to wait for 2 secs, and they’ll look at you as if you’re a total dick… Even the mothers will small children with them: what an example these kids must get?