The ninth in an occasional series.
Ten: Predatory seating
Nine: Culinary relativism
Eight: Preëmptive planning
Seven: Premature mastication
Six: Irrational discalceation
Five: Radiotjänst i Kiruna AB
Four: Temporal engineering
Three: Tunnelbana visionTwo: Simölacra
I’ve learned a few lessons in life I’d like to pass on.
Don’t drink British wine. Don’t drink Italian beer. Don’t drink cosmopolitans in dive bars, don’t drink Rolling Rock in diva bars. Do as the locals.
Don’t drink decaffeinated coffee. Don’t drink de-alcoholized beer. Don’t eat vegetarian food made to look like meat. Seek out authentic things.
But what to do if these two prescriptions for life clash? What if the locals seek out simulacra? I am referring, of course, to that sad abomination of an acoholic beverage, lätt öl [Swedish], a Swedish class of barely beers, “light” on taste, alcohol and point, a straight-to-bladder production that not even the state alcohol dispensing monopoly, Systembolaget, could be bothered regulating.
And yet Swedes don’t get the hint about what that implies. Every day, at luncheon places all over Sweden, hundreds of thousands will optimistically ask once again for lätt öl by name, just in case that, over night, it might suddenly have developed into something substantive.
It’s hard to describe the lack of taste it has. You know how sometimes, when you buy a coke from a concession stand and the dispenser has almost run out of syrup, you get to drink something with a hint of coke that is actually far worse than just water? Lätt öl is the beer equivalent.
To be honest, I don’t understand why Swedish beer is drunk at all. Sweden has worldbeating vodkas and aquavits and wonderful traditions involving punsch and mulled wine. Swedish beer, on the other hand, is atrocious.
Yes it is, and you know it — there is a reason why you don’t export it. I’m not necessarily saying only Belgians can make good beer — the Germans produce competent brews, even if their restrictive Reinheitsgebot guarantees they’re boring; the Americans have some excellent microbreweries; give them a few more generations as they chisel away at the rough edges, and they will have something that approaches the complexity of the palate of an Orval. But as for Swedish beer, there is no hope, and the whole enterprise should just be put out of its misery.
At least lätt öl consumption has fallen by half over the past ten years, for which we have the EU to thank. Price-sensitive consumers have been getting more booze for their buck by nipping over the border and carting home something realI’ve described the role alcohol plays in Sweden’s social life before.. This upgrading of Swedish drinking habits is encouraging, but Swedish alcohol consumption still ranks below the EU mean — so if Swedes want to bolster their until-now entirely undeserved international reputation as a drinking nation, there is still much work to be done.
I suggest refocusing on core Nordic competencies — bring back Viking meadAnd if you hire Absolut’s marketing geniuses you’ll have another runaway export success on your hands.. Read up on Norse drinking culture, convert Spendrups‘s breweries into meaderies, then start enjoying an alcoholic heritage that is both local and authentic.
http://www.pilsner.nu
I think you mean “don’t drink Rolling Rock,” full-stop.
People order lättöl for lunch because it’s not socially acceptable to drink ordinary beer during the work day. If you do, you’ll be considered an alcoholic. I guess people think light beer is better than no beer. Not so sure about that myself.
I couldn’t agree more about Sweedish beer brands like Pripps or Falcon; they’re horrible. Because of the monopoly, until recently beer was sold on price rather than taste in Sweden. But nowadays, there’s a bunch of very good Swedish microbreweries (Jämtlands Bryggerier, Nynäshamns Ångbryggeri, Nils Oscar Bränneri & Bryggeri and some others). If you want to try their stuff on tap, I suggest you go to the Ardbeg Room in Gamla Stan. They have a dozen good Swedish beers on tap and a good collection of Belgian beer on bottle.
AFAIK, you’re not allowed to drink alcohol at work/during work hours. Therefore, anything stronger than lättöl is forbidden.
I just thought it worth replying quickly from work with a glass of wine in my hand, where we are toasting our boss’s birthday. Skål!
What’s up with this arrogance thing? It completely misses me.
what about mariestads? thats good stuff. and cheap too. by the way, how did you find your new apartment? i dont speak swedish and am looking for one. what a pain in the ass.
Swedish mass-produced lager is like any other country’s mass-produced lager (or just like anything mass-produced for that matter). It seems like you’ve taken more time to complain about it than to seek out the godd stuff, which these days is not hard to find.
To start with Pripps (otherwise a maker of bland beers) Carnegie Porter is internationally acclaimed. Nils Oscar Kalas Öl, brewed on Kungsholmen won best beer in the world a few years ago, Akkurat on Södermalm is the only pub outside of the UK to ever be awarded by CAMRA. That’s only the begining.
Your comments on “authentic things” and German beer completely contradict each other. Do additives and perservatives make a beer better and more interesting? No, they just give you headaches. There are more than enough varieties of hops, malt, yeast and water to make more than enough delicious beers.
About the only thing you said that was correct was about mead. It’s a wonderful drink. In fact I think I will have to have a little of some I brewed now. Skål!
I do agree on the quality of Swedish beer (Ad from Pripps: “We have made beer for over 100 years. You’d be pretty stupid if you can’t learn to make beer in that time.” (To which the canonical answer is “Yup.” (I should say here that I am Norwegian, and that Norwegian standard beer is marginally better than Swedish, largely because they are allowed a higher alcohol content).
But aren’t there microbreweries popping up in Sweden as well? A friend of mine runs a microbrewery called NØgne ˇ (www.nØgne-o.no), creates high-priced handcrafted beer, and can barely fill demand. They sell both in stores, at bars and through the national alcohol monopoly – I would assume that something similar could happen in Sweden as well?
(And I do tell you, an 11% “barleywine” beer served tempered in wine classes is really something to strive for….)
When in Stockholm, Do as Belgians
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