Cold comfort

If Bush says we hate freedom, let him tell us why we didn’t attack Sweden, for example.

Top 10 reasons why Osama Bin Laden didn’t attack Sweden:

10. Couldn’t tell Sweden from Switzerland.

9. Attackers decided to take extended sick leave at 80% pay instead.

8. Stockholm World Trade Center is only seven stories high, and they couldn’t find it.

7. Osama’s illness turns out to have been Stockholm Syndrome.

6. Has been reading a lot of Little Green Footballs, thinks Sweden is a Wahhabist theocracy.

5. WMD attack did occur, but Swedes are immune to surströmming bombs.

4. Because everybody knows Sweden has no army.

3. Will never forget the summer of 1982 in Afghanistan and those long warm nights with Lotta Hedman, that hot Swedish backpacker — especially how she would unravel her blond pigtails as they bathed naked in the Amu Darya while the full moon illuminated the Hindu Kush. He still wakes up in a sweat thinking of her. Sometimes he wonders what has become of her.

2. IKEA furniture easy to transport from cave to cave. Especially likes his Lagom™ brown tarpaulin backdrop and Slarvig™ collapsible desk.

1. Still holding out hope for a Nobel.

48 thoughts on “Cold comfort

  1. Bin Ladin gillar Sverige

    Vet inte om man skall skratta eller gråta, men det känns på ett högst osäkert sätt lite tryggt att Sverige blir nämnt som ett land Al Qaida inte har anledning att anfalla på Bin Ladens senaste hemvideo. Vad är det vi har gjort som inte USA har…

  2. Later

    I’m afraid my professional commitments — both my day job and my other after-hours projects — as well as my volunteer work, perhaps in combination with my Taekwondo training (but I doubt it, if anything it’s energizing), unables me to write creatively…

  3. Stefan,
    You forget Usama’s visit to Falun in the 1970s…he probably read Dala-Demokraten and realized Sweden will never pose a threat to anyone–but itself.

  4. I think he didn•t attack Sweden since they already live in misory, with Goran Persson as Prime Minester!!! That•s enough, also for a terrorist- he do have feelings!!!!

  5. 1. Still holding out hope for a Nobel
    Which, if we’re talking about the Peace Prize, is handed out in Norway. He could be opting for the physics price though.

  6. Seriously, when I first heard Osama mention Sweden, it sounded so random that I entertained the thought that it might well be a code word of some sort.

  7. “AM”: Why would anyone mean the peace price? That’s hardly what you first think of when you talk about Nobel. The peace price isn’t even genuine. It was established much later than the far more attractive litterature price. So don’t come here and play smart boy 😉

  8. Gustaf: You’re confusing the peace prize with the price in economics, which is not a genuine Nobel prize at all. The peace prize has been given yearly since 1901, as stated in Alfred Nobels will.

  9. Norton it was later discovered that is was Usamas brother and not Usama that visited Falun with hes family. this was only published in a smaller article in the Falukuriren about a month after the fist one claming it was Usama him self. afaik away.

  10. The biggest reason is probably that Sweden is as religious as each person wants to be. Every person claiming to have a religion should be banned from elections. If you belive in god your not fit to take decisions about anything more then if you are going to the bathroom or not.

  11. Wow, talk about “tolerant” behaviour. Not able to vote because one’s religious beliefs?
    I am a non-practicing Catholic, but I find that not only stupid but ridiculous.
    So what do you say we stop people from voting based on their liberal views?
    “The most intolerant people are those who PREACH tolerance!”

  12. ToreSkog: According to an atheistic webpage there are about 850 million atheists in the world i. e. ~13% of the world population. What kind of democracy (usually based on majority) would that be.
    … and Kerry is a Catholic …

  13. Mona//
    Religion has turned this election into a battle with ingridients such as abortionrights and gay marriage, instead on focusing on economy; improving the American welfare and reducing the gaps between poor and rich in the country. Add to that the fact that the war on terrorism is nothing but war against islam fundamentalists…so MANY bad thoughts come from what we call religious beliefs, or “interpretations” of the religious texts. I•m sorry to say it, but I dont believe that the many good things that come from religion make up for the bad things.
    Alex//
    Who says the rest of the world loves Kerry? He•s not Bush, thats more than enough to get a vote…By the way, What kind of democratic country has merely TWO (big)alternatives for their citizens to choose from?!?!

  14. Andy: I agree with you. But “Every person claiming to have a religion should be banned from elections” is a very serious statement, although it may be made for fun. I used the statistics to show how ignorant and absurd the statement was. In Sweden we think everyone is as secular as we are, but they’re not. Do you think we are more “enlightened” in Sweden than people in other countries? The thinkers of the modern time thought that science and technical progress would eliminate the need for believes. But the post modern time shows us that the gap between what we call science and believes is filled with other believes. Even in the minds of the Swedish people.

  15. Electing George ‘I Am The World’ Bush Jr -AGAIN- just says it all about the US.
    Now we can’t even pity the US citizens anymore, when they want four more wonderful years with the mr looking-like-a-reindeer-just-about-to-be-hit.
    – And this time it was done by the book aswell. Well done.
    It’s also kinda cool that he more or less have given the green light for anyone wanting to become president – all you gotta do is fu**ing around with the so called people’s votes, they sure as hell won’t mind. Heck, they might even re-elect you if you use your dictatorship wisely.
    George W Bush is nothing short of a dictator using foul tools for making him president in the first place, and now pulling it off for the second term by the book.
    Regardless, he’s still the same person and still is responsible for a crime against his own citizens.
    “Dictator; – a ruler who is unconstrained by law.”

  16. Why do you blame the ENTIRE USA for the decision of a split vote?
    It is clear that there are two Americas. Just imagine if Europe was one country, and the people in Bavaria could decide the fate of the Swedes. That is exactly our point. Even a Moose would have won. It was not about war, economy. It was morality! Sick isn’t it?

  17. solve your terrorist problems !!
    Göran Persson for US president 2008..
    (well..even Magnus Härenstam could do better than Bush..)

  18. GW Bush is a Christian crusader. And unlike Sweden, there is Zero Tolerance for Muslims in America.
    Free the West from Muslim pest!

  19. SwedishHomeland security

    Surströmming, which is Swedish for disgusting rotten fish guts left fermenting in bloated cans, has been banned from flights by British Airways, Finnair, Air France and KLM for fears of what might happen should they explode in case of cabin…

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