Minutes of the inaugural meeting of the Kungsholmen cadre of the Sweden-Korea Friendship Association, Feb 20, 2005.
In attendance: Comrade Geens — Acting Chairman
Meeting called to order by the Acting Chairman, who moved that he be made Permanent Chair and also elected Vice Chair, Secretary and Executive Member. The motion was unanimously approved.
Agenda Items
ItemThe threat from the South
It was brought to the attention of the cadre that recent news from the southern end of the peninsula was disturbing, and of a distinctly putschist toneGreat Leader’s own definition of Juche, for the benefit of neophytes:
“Establishing juche means, in a nutshell, being the master of revolution and reconstruction in one’s own country. This means holding fast to an independent position, rejecting dependence on others, using one’s own brains, believing in one’s own strength, displaying the revolutionary spirit of self-reliance, and thus solving one’s own problems for oneself on one’s own responsibility under all circumstances.”. Namely, the Malmö Group for the Study of the Juche Idea has renamed itself the Swedish National Committee for the Study of the Juche Idea.
The Kungsholmen cadre was unanimous in adopting this statement in response to this deviationist development:
It is a wrecking activity, a naked power grab by pseudoprogressive petty-bourgeois groups in the South. Juche means a rejection of lackeyism, and we in the North will not stand by idly as this clique of Gorbachovite upstarts tries to usurp our own Study of the Juche Idea, all in the name of so-called unity.
This is no time for passivism, so we call on the proletarian masses to recognise who their true revolutionary vanguard is — we the Kungsholmen cadre! At the same time, we anticipate that irredentist babble will emanate from the South, so we pre-emptively declare: The Kungsholmen cadre is not a splittist bloc, but just as the People’s Republic of Korea stands steadfast against the international gansterism of ruling cliques in the South, so too shall we reject the Malmö clique’s flunkeyism, which so directly contravenes the very basis of Juche. Did not Malmö vote for EMU in the referendum? Is that not a clear indication of its capitulationist impulses?
Malmö must toe the correct line — Dear Leader’s line. And with Dear Leader’s toe.
ItemSwedish edition of Dear Leader’s The Juche Philosophy Is an Original Revolutionary Philosophy publishedThe English version can be found here.
The cadre noted with approval the publication this week of Dear Leader’s seminal discourse in our native Swedish tongue, and endorsed wholeheartedly the estimation that “It clarifies the idea that the Juche philosophy serves as a revolutionary philosophy and a political philosophy of the Workers’ Party of Korea and principled issues arising in studying and explaining the Juche philosophy.” The cadre expressed expectation this will make Study of the Juche Idea much easier for Swedes.
It also cannot wait to find out what the correct Swedish is for the discourse’s concluding phrase, “All the social scientists must study the Juche philosophy in depth and breadth and propagate it in line with the Party’s intention and, by doing so, exalt its greatness and further increase its attraction.”
At one point in the meeting, the Vice Chair of the cadre falsely opined that when we say “Study” we mean “swallow hook, line and sinker,” and this erroneous outburst was vigorously rectified. The Vice Chair said he had merely put his tongue inside of his cheek when speaking, so it was decided not to mete out disciplinary measures this time. One more such outburst, however, and he will be able to leave his tongue wherever he likes.
ItemApplying the Juche Idea to the Nordic Countries
It was proposed the cadre should not just Study the Juche Idea, but also investigate its applicability to the Nordic Countries. To this end, it was suggested that an invitation be extended to Rikard Stenberg, Chief of the Malmö Group for the Study of the Juche Idea and teacher at Marumo Secondary High School in Sweden, to give a talk at an upcoming meeting on this topic. The cadre noted with approval his rapturously received speech “Fresh Upsurge in the Struggle for Independence and Social Development Taking Place in the 21st Century” at the European Conference on Juche Idea and Issues of Socialism in Moscow in 1999.
Another option was inviting Christer Lundgren, Chairman of the Swedish Preparatory Committee for Celebrating Dear Leader’s Birthday, instead. An article from 2002 was noted with approval [Swedish] in which he writes:
In Korea it is clear that it is the US who is not following its end of the bargain from October 1994. Everyone who can read can convince themselves of this, even if the Bush regime now tries to call Pyongyang as the party in breach of this agreement.I Korea är det uppenbart USA som inte har följt ramavtalet från oktober 1994. Var och en som är läskunnig kan övertyga sig om detta, även om Bushregimen nu försöker utpeka Pyongyang som den avtalsbrytande parten.
The cadre expressed hope that recent events will not lead the author of this commendable screed into futile second-guessing.
Both individuals were further applauded for their steadfast antirevisionism by refusing to acknowledge the so-called documentation of widespread human rights abuses in the People’s Republic, some of which are audaciously presented in this article, “North Korean Human Rights: A Story of Apathy, Victims, and International Law” [PDF] from Stanford University. The cadre could barely stomach it, due to its blatant defamatory tone towards Dear Leader.
In the end, it was decided the Kungsholmen cadre would research the applicability of Juche to the Nordics all by itself, thus embodying Juche in its approach to Juche. Subcommittees were formed to Study each of the three components of Juche (political, economic and military independence) and how they apply to Sweden — preliminary theorizing suggests that Sweden should militarize its entire economy, forbid foreign trade (though perhaps accept aid) and turn Barseback 2 Nuclear reactor into a bomb-making facility, lest the Danes or Norwegians revert to a Vikingist expansion mode. A historical tendency towards blatant parliamentarism would also have to be stamped out, preferably ruthlessly.
The Vice Chair noted that several indigenous peoples in the region, such as the Sami, have long practiced a native form of self-reliance, perhaps even before Great Leader was born. Was this not Juche? And would not the Study of Sami Self-Reliance be the truly Juche way for Nordic peoples to Study the Juche Idea? The idea was debated for some time before it was declared erroneous, for is it not true that the Sami are in fact reliant on reindeer? Now what kind of Juche is that? Ha!
ReportAre poodles running dogs?
The Vice-Chair updated the cadre on his taxonomy of the animals that Dear Leader has identified as working for the imperialists. While it is clear to everyone that fat cats are capitalist, there has been some puzzlement as to why running dogs might be. Very few of Kungsholmen’s bourgeois dogs have been observed running, and none of those were poodles or lapdogs. Skansen zoo was all out of hyenas, so no progress there.
The meeting was then adjourned. The next meeting was set for Great Leader’s birthday, April 15. Marx your calendars.
I think it’s time for you to move to a new country.
You mean the DPRK? Imagine the blogging you could do there! Imagine the punishments.
Matthew, I think it’s time for you to move to a new country.
The British Comittee for the Promotion, Advancement and Implementation of the Juche Ideal in the 21st Century salutes your indominatibility and courageness in the face of crypto-facist oppression. We believe, however, that the taxonimical classification of running dogs is an issue of tertiary importance compared to our continuing struggle against the US-led forces of global imperialism. Following a brief discussion and vote on the issue, we concluded that since dogs lack the cognitive ability to actively embrace the Juche ideal, they would be better used as an excellent source of nutrition for Korea’s brave, glorious, manly and eternally battle-ready soldiers. Long live the dear, dear leader!
The British Comittee for the Promotion, Advancement and Implementation of the Juche Ideal in the 21st Century salutes your indominatibility and courageness in the face of crypto-facist oppression. We believe, however, that the taxonimical classification of running dogs is an issue of tertiary importance compared to our continuing struggle against the US-led forces of global imperialism. Following a brief discussion and vote on the issue, we concluded that since dogs lack the cognitive ability to actively embrace the Juche ideal, they would be better used as an excellent source of nutrition for Korea’s brave, glorious, manly and eternally battle-ready soldiers. Long live the dear, dear leader!