Hollywood smitten with God, God smites back

God punishes Joe Eszterhas for Showgirls, although Joe is under the impression that his smoking is to blame, so he makes a deal with God and writes a New York Times opinion piece urging others to stop glamorizing cigarettes. If God is so worried about the risks we run if we smoke, why can’t God just make smoking safe?

Meanwhile, National Rifle Association President and one-time Red Sea parter Charlton Heston may have Alzheimer’s. Let’s just hope he remembers the gun safety rules–or else we might have to take away his gun license.

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No wonder this rat is leaving the ship

It’s a favorite conceit of mine that wherever I happen to live is the absolute coolest place in the world. For the past 6 years this place has been the East Village in New York City, or more precisely, the block of St. Marks Place between Avenue A and B [er, 1st Ave.–Ed.]. My block has everything you need for full-bore living–from Irish pub to Moroccan cafe to Italian restaurant to Korean sushi to experimental theatre to vegan bakery (ugh)…

So how does one move from such a place with the conviction that whatever is next will be the new coolest? You depend on Mayor Bloomberg. He’s decided he’s going to turn New York City into a Californian health spa, by pushing for a total ban on smoking in all bars and restaurants. He’s been on something of a roll recently–raising cigarette prices to about $7.50, which has led to a 50% drop in cigarette sales, down to 16 million packs a month. That’s not a 50% drop in consumption, though; most people now buy cigarettes in New Jersey or upstate New York, or on Indian reserves.

I don’t smoke, of course. But St. Dymphnas without smoke is like alcohol-free beer. Cafe Pick-Me-Up without overflowing ashtrays is like rap without swearing. What’s the point?

A week from now, I’ll be on my way to Israel, there to visit friends and family, then a week or 2 in the Mediterranean before ending up in Stockholm September 18. They smoke there. Cool.

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Searching for meaning II

I’ve always maintained that a belief in God is the result of a failure of the imagination: But in Simon Blackburn’s review of John Polkinghorne’s latest attempts to scientifically prove the existence of God, this argument is put a lot more articulately:

When we act and think, we are not conscious of the multitude of causes in the brain or outside it that make our acting and thinking possible. The illusion is to project that lack of awareness onto the universe: to think that instead of being unaware of causes, we are aware that there are no causes. Our own actions and thoughts then become little exemplars of divine self-sufficiency. If we can have minds and make thoughts, just like that, why can’t God have a mind and make worlds, just like that?

It is a melancholy thought that so much of mankind’s long affair with religion springs from an illusion infecting our conception of mind: the illusion that when we do not know what causes us to act and think, we know that nothing causes us to act and think. But it is only this illusion that sustains the argument from design, and it is only the argument from design that sustains belief in a self-sufficient divine agent.

The whole article is worth reading.

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Suba rue

I wanted to reserve a table for 8 for tonight at Suba. They wanted my phone number. Then they wanted my email. Why? To send me a form to fax back:

Suba’s Cancellation Policy:

A credit card is needed to guarantee your reservation.

You may cancel without charge up to 2 p.m. on the date of the reservation. If you do not cancel by 2 p.m. on the date of the reservation and/or are less than the reserved number by three or more people you will be charged $25 per missing person. Reservations must be honored within 30 min. of the reserved time, or you will be considered a “no show”.

Please fax back this form to 212-982-3034

with a photocopy of both sides of your credit card.

What’s next? $10 penalties if you don’t finish your plate? An inspection of the toilet after your visit? A dungeon for bad tippers?

And who still faxes these days?

Liberals are stupid, conservatives are evil

A Charles Krauthammer column was the topic of debate between some republican friends and me this weekend. It’s convincing, at first, but fails to consider one obvious possibility: That liberals are stupid AND conservatives are evil.

Allow me to explain. Your daily interactions with other people are in fact little positive sum games, or prisoner dilemmas. If you go into these games trusting the other party at all times (the conservative criticism of liberals), the other party will quickly learn that it can take advantage of you by making a selfish choice rather than the cooperative choice. You lose, and you are stupid for it.

If you go into these games making the selfish choice at all times, you preempt any chance of building a history of trust and benefiting from cooperation, and instead you head for a race to the bottom, friendless and unloved for initiating a Hobbesian nightmare of a world. You are evil, indeed.

In fact, the smartest tactic lies between the two, and it has been documented by evolutionary psychologists as the dominant form in which primates (and humans) interact in a social context. Because you play lots and lots of positive sum games with the individuals that you come into daily contact with, there is plenty of opportunity to reward cooperation and punish selfish defections. What you do is you trust the other party the first time; all subsequent times, you make the same choice (cooperative or selfish) that the other party did the last time. If the other party was selfish last time (because he/she is a conservative), you are selfish back the next time. If the other party was a liberal, you continue trusting them and behaving cooperatively. Let’s call it enlightened liberalism.

Interestingly, this tactic allows for educating conservatives, because they will soon learn that if they stop behaving selfishly, you will trust them again, and you will both benefit from the extra rewards brought on by cooperation. Yep, conservatives may be evil, but they’re not stupid.

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If I don't get on that plane, the terrorists have already won

Is this a clever ploy by the Wall Street Journal to make democrats look stupid? Whine, whine, whine. Mr. McGovern seems to be under the impression that we care about the minutiae of his luddite existence. Perhaps if somebody bought him a Palm Pilot he’d be on time. Is one of the perks of being a failed presidential candidate the civil right to have airline employees risk their job for you to do you a favor because you’re late and you’re insulting them? And is Mr. McGovern suggesting he is immune to traffic laws? I’m glad to see that every man is equal in the eyes of US airlines. It’s part of what makes the war on terrorism worth fighting.

Bull's Eye, cont.

Today’s Ha’aretz editorial calls the Gaza strike an act of state-sponsored terrorism. I don’t agree, but only because I like to quibble semantically about the proper use of the term “terrorism”–the word should be used to describe acts that deliberately aim to inspire terror in a civilian population. Within this narrow definition, terrorism is what happened on Sept 11, and what Hamas and Al Aqsa Martyrs Bridgade do when they send out a suicide bomber.

What Sharon is guilty of is pursuing a military objective with wanton disregard for civilian life. His mindset is the same mindset that allowed Hiroshima and Dresden. Of course, the Gaza strike is much smaller in scope, and if you don’t condemn Allied actions over Hiroshima and Dresden then you cannot condemn Sharon without being a hypocrite. But Hiroshima and Dresden had one thing going for them–they did shorten the war, whereas the Gaza strike will not.

The moral difference between terrorism and what Sharon ordered is small, though. If you know with certainty your actions will cause civilian casualties way out of proportion with any military or political objective, then intent is irrelevant. If you order a missile strike on a city block, civilian casualties are not a mistake.

Meanwhile, here is the ‘My country, right or wrong’ defense, in the Jerusalem Post. It’s written by Uri Dan, who also wrote the Bull’s Eye story for the New York Post. I don’t know about you, but I can’t really tell the difference between his op-ed pieces and his straightforward news reporting.

As usual, the details of what went wrong are messy.