But is it Art?

I was in London a few weeks ago, and I was very impressed with the Tate Modern, London’s newest major art destination. But that was before I saw Body Worlds, an exhibit of plastinated dead humans currently showing in a converted brewery in London’s East End.

The abstract expressionists I had seen nary an hour earlier were beginning to feel rather flat by the time I saw the man with his skin draped over his arm like a wetsuit. And Damien Hirst’s cut-up cow proved no match for the man sliced up like so much mortadella.

To quote AbFab:

“It’s a dead body, Pats.”

“Patsy: Yeah, but is it art, Eddie?”

It’s a valid question. The exhibit is careful not to bill itself as an art show but as a scientific exploration of the human body. The first plastinated people encountered are indeed displayed in scientifically credible ways—smokers lungs are interspersed with metastasized organs and brains with strokes (“Ooh, that’s what it looks like inside Margaret Thatcher’s head,” I found myself thinking before I perished the thought.) Standard high school science lab fodder.

As the exhibit progresses, though, variations on a theme emerge: A man sitting down to play chess has his spinal cord is exposed; a man riding a plastinated horse holds his own brain in his right hand, the horse’s brain in his left; A pregnant female nude reclines, fetus exposed, striking a pose; and another man’s organs are stacked vertically in a manner reminiscent of Francis Bacon’s Triptychs.

In these cases it is clear to me that Professor Gunther von Hagen, the inventor of the preservation process and the creator of this exhibit, is making artistic claims, even if he is not claiming to be an artist. And here we can ask, how good is the art?

The British, whose modern artists have a fine infatuation with death, decay and the macabre, are flocking in droves to see it. But the reality of the exhibit is a lot more palatable than it sounds.

First off, the plastinated people are anonymous; their facial skin is stripped away, and underneath, it turns out, we all look rather similar. In this respect the exhibit is somewhat tamer than the Warhol images of accidents and suicides on show at the Tate, where the identities of the dead are clearly visible. If it is voyeurism, Body Worlds’ is a more innocent variety, akin to that of a documentary where the heads of the participants have been blurred out.

And for me, at least, Body Worlds fulfilled its role as art by forcing me to re-view the world around me; I began observing the live human visitors as much as the dead exhibits. That cute woman in the halter-top leaning over the chess player, how many chemical processes is she from being the art? How beautiful would she be if stripped down to her organs? Beauty seemed not so much skin deep as just skin, at times, but then near the end of the exhibit there was a complete set of human blood vessels suspended in clear liquid, and that too was undeniably beautiful, if not exactly in the you’re-cute-let’s-have-a-drink sense.

The impression that I am a walking collection of body parts—all of which have ample opportunities to fail—became rather inescapable. It’s a novel way to identify with the art, and it sets this exhibit apart from its freak show cousins. Circus sideshows endeavor to accentuate the strange and the abnormal for the sake of a cheap thrill—we try not to get too close, and are encouraged to recoil uneasily, guilty for feeling lucky. In Body Worlds, on the other hand, we are encouraged to take long, close, well-lit if not lingering looks, and the diseases on show are for the main part a checklist of all the banal ways we’ll die.

How to outdo this? Dead people have long been on show—witness the mummy Queens in the British Museum and Westminster Hall—but never, I think, has exhibitionism been taken so literally. I predict celebrity plastinations. Might Damien Hirst decide that the only thing more precocious than living for his art is to become it? Maybe plastination might not be Hirst’s preferred medium for conveying the transience of identity. All this recent toying with rotting animal carcasses will seem so bourgeois by the time he throws himself to the lions—literally, this time. Starving artists, anyone?

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Conspiracy for idiots

Successful conspiracies require means, motive and opportunity.

Successful conspiracy theories require only creative thinking about means, motive and opportunity. Conspiracy theorists have stock candidates for these components, and the mixing and matching need not be particularly imaginative for a new permutation to hit the meme market.

But successful conspiracy theories do have to find nourishment in a pre-existing mass psychosis. This makes them powerful cautionary tales—articulations of prejudices and fears that do not otherwise surface. And it makes them dangerous, because in the global democracy of ideas successful memes become historical facts.

The most successful recent conspiracy theory posits that the September 11 attacks were in fact orchestrated by Mossad, which warned 4,000 Jews not to go to work in the World Trade Center on the day of the attacks: A poll taken late February 2002 shows a good majority of citizens of predominantly Muslim countries now take it for the truth; less than one in five thinks Mohammed Atta et al did it, at least not without brainwashing help from Mossad.

Bear in mind that the idea being promoted can be only one of these three things:

A) A deliberate piece of disinformation planted by Osama Bin Laden’s ilk in the more extremist Muslim media, which in turn somehow manages the extraordinary feat of simultaneously applauding an act of violence against the United States that it insists was carried out by Israel’s secret service in order to set the US against Islam.

B) A slightly more benign version of (A), which borrows the concept of natural selection to the extent that a conspiracy theory can evolve from a spate of sloppy, tendentious reporting and Op-Ed pieces masquerading as fact.

C) A horrendously well-kept secret involving foreknowledge by thousands of talkative New York Jews who nevertheless managed not to blab to their goy husbands, wives and waspy work buddies until the crime was perpetrated, because all Jews represent a monolithic front of hatred against Muslims.

The means, motive and opportunity proffered for scenario C are simple. Mossad provides the means, because–like the CIA–it is commonly ascribed by its enemies with the godlike qualities of omniscience and omnipotence. The technologically illiterate have no means of differentiating science fact from science fiction; Scenario C requires 20 Manchurian Candidates ready to crash planes and an efficient means of tracking and secretly contacting 4,000 Jewish employees in the World Trade Center. How hard can that be if these agencies have satellites that read license plates?

The ascribed motive betrays severe prejudices against Jews, because a central assumption of the conspiracy theory is that a secret and silent mass of Jews would be willing to condone the killing of thousands of innocents in order to effect a hardening in US policy towards Muslim countries. You have to buy into the most virulent of anti-Semitic constructs before this becomes plausible. Yet often these are the only constructs available to citizens of countries whose governments and clergy have long gained currency at the expense of Judaism.

Even worse, a tendency to believe conspiracy theories may be a healthy instinct in countries where conspiracy is the modus operandi of rulers. Predominantly Muslim countries, on the whole, have not had transparent and democratic government, and often these local autocratic regimes have been propped up with the support of the West. If the house of Saud is underhanded in its grip on power, its Western backers are seen capable of the same by implication.

And as for opportunity, why not throw in a little cooperation between elements in the CIA and Mossad? After all, Jews, more than likely, have infiltrated the CIA. And surely the CIA would know which weaknesses in domestic security to exploit?

Enough. Why am I riled up? Because nothing good has ever come from a situation where a significant portion of the worlds population have had their capacity for rational thought so brutalized that they believe something so patently false.

The two immediate situations that come to mind are German and Austrian support for their Fuhrer, and Stalinism. But other mass “errors in judgment” litter history, all the more densely the further back you go: McCarthyism, the Dreyfus Affair, Catholic anti-Semitism, the Crusades…

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Headless body

I never want to hear another British complaint about silly EU directives. This one tops them all, so to speak. I don’t care how those warm, flat pints of what the British call beer are poured, but to mandate that Belgian draught beer be served without a head in Britain should be grounds for dismissal from the EU. We should not give Baroness Thatcher the pleasure of pulling out voluntarily. And while we’re at it, let’s boot out the Greeks as well, for not being sufficiently on our side.

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Sharbat Gula

National Geographic has tracked down the subject of one of its most famous covers ever. The beautiful Pashtun girl with bright green eyes could have been a supermodel here in the west; instead, she married, bore 4 children, lived through 17 more years of war and poverty, and wears the veil. Sharbat Gula’s new portrait, when juxtaposed with the old, is just as powerful. The eyes are paler now, the veil is duller, the face fuller, the stare now more weary than defiant. Seventeen years seem to have passed so fast since I first saw the picture as a teenager in Sydney. I’ve often stared back at the original portait, and sometimes wondered where and what she was up to. The story is in the April 2002 issue of National Geographic Magazine.

Bless Colin Powell

Bless Colin Powell for finally stating the obvious:

“If you declare war on the Palestinians and think you can solve the problem by seeing how many Palestinians can be killed – I don’t know that leads us anywhere,” Mr Powell told the congressional hearing.

In the meantime, what’s wrong with this statement?

On Monday Mr. Sharon told a parliamentary committee: “We have to deal [the Palestinians] very painful blows, continuously, until they understand that they won’t achieve anything with terror.”

It took a year, 310 dead Israelis and 1032 dead Palestinians for Sharon’s policy to be plausibly discredited. When Sharon was elected last February, the death toll stood at around 150 total. The Pro-Sharon argument then was that he was going to increase security by hitting the Palestinians harder (all of you, mind you, not just the guilty ones). I said then that was a ludicrous argument, both in terms of causality and morality. What should be obvious to people who watch the region is that the Palestinians see themselves as desperate, and a portion of them are willing to commit suicide to hurt the other side. That makes Palestinian militants even crazier than Israeli hawks, and in a cycle of violence the craziest side always has the upper hand. Meanwhile, Sharon’s motives are progressively being reduced to a naked hatred of Arafat.

Policy criticism should always include an alternative solution. This solution always was, and will remain, a policy of isolating extremists on either side. Moderates on either side have more in common with each other than with their extremist ends. It is in the interests of both the suicide bombers and the Israeli settlers to prevent a coalition of moderates negotiating a peace or even just a truce. But there are options that would frustrate extremists on either side: building a “security perimeter” on the 1967 borders and removing settlers from their provocative settlements; this would satisfy the entire international community, lead to recognition by Arab states, and stifle infiltration by suicide bombers from the West Bank. When it comes to the Golan Heights, it would likely have to become a demilitarized zone, under Syrian sovereignty but holding only UN Peacekeeping troops.

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Paul Wolfowitz, velociraptor


Our fearless SAIS leader of old crops up in this week’s Economist as something more hawkish than a hawk, hence “Paul Wolfowitz, velociraptor”. Here is a PDF version of the article, (728K) which The Economist sadly opted not to place online; I’m sure they won’t mind this little PDF–you all have subscriptions anyway, right? My only comment on the article is that it makes Wolfowitz sound… articulate and charming.

This week’s issue also reviews a new book by Jagdish Bhagwati (p.68), whose Protectionism was one of my epiphanies at SAIS and which should be distributed free to every proto-anarchist who still thinks third world workers are better off unemployed as first-world labor unions protect their markets against competition from cheaper and better manufacturing imports. There was a “spontaneous” demonstration here in the East Village last weekend during the World Economic Forum, but to the obvious disappointment of some protestors they weren’t persecuted by the NYPD. This timeless Monty Python line comes to mind: “DENNIS: (Calling) Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!”

Zen One on St. Marks

Six years ago Tom Atkins and Uta Harnischfeger introduced me to Sandobe, a miniscule 4-table Korean sushi den on 11th & 1st run by a genial husband-and-wife chef-and-waitress team. For a while, it was our secret–we’d rush in at least once a week to inhale the flawless seaweed and cucumber salad appetizer, and watch some of New York’s freshest fish cut into delectable rainbow rolls or Stefan rolls. Slowly.

But then word got out. The restaurant expanded, and expanded again; the chef delegated to a team of new chefs; the East Village was discovered by people who 2 years previous would have preferred a holiday in Haiti to a jaunt down Saint Marks; the experience became diluted as reams of diners who just didn’t know any better became Sandobe’s mainstay; they barely noticed the seaweed salad and quaffed their shabby rolls contentedly.

I’m glad he cashed in, but my East Village sushi dealer was no longer providing me with the fix I needed, and for the past few years I’ve been using sushi at Takahachi, a very capable restaurant populated by virtuoso chefs and rightly popular for it. But for all the obvious bliss of dipping a piece of slightly seared pepper-crusted tuna into mustard sauce and then into one’s mouth, Takahachi lacks the intimacy and personal attention I’ve craved ever since the early days of Sandobe.

It seems the prayers I would have said had I been religious but which I didn’t because I’m not have finally been answered, in the form of Zen One, a new miniscule 4-table sushi restaurant that opened this week–a mere 6 flights of stairs below my apartment, on the ground floor of 109 Saint Marks. They too have a husband-and-wife team; they too have a great seaweed appetizer, but here the cucumber is laced with crab, and it works. The first time I ate at Zen One they brought out what looked like an ancient earthenware Korean Bunsen burner, and placed on it an open-faced clam that proceeded to cook in its own juices. It was incredibly tasty, but fun too, and it was presented with a sense of humor. The rolls are delicious, and the presentation is beautiful. I’ll be dragging everybody there in the coming months, as long as they know how to keep a secret.

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Anagrammed friends

Today’s post is brought to you courtesy of the Internet Anagram Server, responsible for hours upon hours of immature snickering at expense of friends’ names. Here’s what I’ve managed to come up with so far.

EUROF UPPINGTON = PFENNIG OUTPOUR (he lives in Frankfurt, after all)

EPHRAT LIVNI = HIP INTERVAL

TONJE VETLESETER = NOVELETTE JESTER

TANYA EPSTEIN = INSTANT PAYEE (she’s a lawyer)

KIMBERLEY STRASSEL = TIMELESSLY BARKERS (thanks Felix)

But the piece de resistance is without doubt this eerily accurate hat trick:

CLARICE ANNEGERS = SACRILEGE CANNER, GLANCE INCREASER, CARNAGE LICENSER

Then, when you’re finished, read up on the latest meme: Googlewhacking. My first: defenestrate lentils. My second: monaural saltpeter. Be warned, this is highly addictive, yet harder than you think.

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