That's a moray

I think I first came across the word ‘awry’ when I was 10 or so, probably during the month that summer when I did nothing but read The Lord of the Rings. The meaning was clear enough from the context, but how to pronounce it? I decided to apply logic. Since ‘tawdry’, ‘bawdy’ and ‘tawny’ all had the accent on the first syllable, so it was with ‘awry’. aw-ree.

This is how I said the word, often enough, for 15 years, happy to pepper my conversations with the slightly off-beat adjective. And everybody nodded knowingly whenever I asserted something had gone aw-ree, including such notable pedants as John/Eurof.

Then, one day–I believe it was at a halloween party in Washingon, DC–when, dressed up as the Taliban (hey it was 1995, they were funny then), I used the word on Tanya Epstein.

“Oh, you mean a-wry?” she said.

“No, no, aw-ree.”

A survey was conducted. Everybody said a-wry. She was right of course.

And last week, I found another such word.

Elise Galaty asked me, “what’s another word for morays?”

“You mean, like the eels?”

“No, like the social custom.” She spelled it for me.

“Oh! mors.”

“No, no, morays.” She was right, of course: ‘mores’, as in society’s prevailing moral attitude, is pronounced morays. It does not rhyme with s’mores, that tasty marshmallow snack.

But the question remains, what did John/Eurof think I was saying every time I chided him over the years with “where are your mors?”

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Morrissey meats the New Model Army

Last weekend kicked off with a Morrissey concert. I freely admit I have never been a big fan off his. Until embarrassingly recently I thought the name was Van Morrissey, nor was I sure whether he was a band or a person. I did know Morrissey was responsible for “Girlfriend in a Coma” and other such memorably articulated misery, to which depressed 15-year old vegans mouth the lyrics while clawing at their wrists in a closet. So I was not prepared for the general perkiness of his fans–some were positively chirpy, and many would not have been born when he started with The Smiths 20 years ago (I’ve been reading up).

I’ve decided that one must approach Morrissey ironically. Not only does his work then become very funny (I happen to think “Girlfriend in a Coma” is hilarious), it is certain to annoy the hell out of him, because I am sure Morrissey has no sense of humor whatsoever.

Exhibit A: He is a militant vegetarian, and inflicted upon his concert audience a song titled “Meat is Murder”:

It’s not “natural”, “normal” or kind

The flesh you so fancifully fry

The meat in your mouth

As you savour the flavour

Of MURDER

It’s a classic. He then told his audience that “All good people are vegetarians,” which received little pockets of applause amid an audience otherwise busy digesting the Swedish meatballs they had for dinner.

Exhibit B: By way of introduction to a new anti-English song he’s written, Morrissey mentioned how the UK had withstood 3 world wars… including Margaret Thatcher. The song itself berates the Tories, Labour, the Monarchy and Oliver Cromwell. Now which of these is not like the others? If you answered Oliver Cromwell, on account of him having been dead for 350 years, you are correct. Remind me to write a little ditty later lamenting the Treaty of Westphalia in 1648, whereby the Scheldt river was closed in order to please the Dutch, depopulating Antwerp and ruining trade there for centuries, until the blockade was lifted in the latter half of 19th century. Antwerp will be forever eclipsed by Amsterdam–now, Mr. Morrissey, why don’t you write about that? Here, let me start you off:

It’s not “rational”, “tolerant” or kind

The tulips you so greedily buy

The trade in your harbor

As you enjoy the ploy

Of the BLOCKADE

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The faint praise I have ever heard

The IHT’s People section today carries a quote attributed to David Remnick, editor of The New Yorker, about his fiction and literary editor Bill Buford, who will be quitting at the end of the year. Buford was “one of the great fiction editors that The New Yorker has ever had,” says Remnick.

Did the editing go awry in Remnick’s head, or in the head of an IHT copy editor, as I suspect? Or perhaps Remnick meant exactly what he said?

Fun facts about the Swedish language II

In Swedish, a little means a lot. If you say, “I have a little pain” (Jag är lite ont) you are in fact saying you have a lot of pain. Apparently, Swedes are a very modest people, and if you truly have a little pain, then its not worth mentioning, so there is no way of expressing it.

Osten means “the cheese”. So next time you write an email to Östen, don’t forget the dots. Pity that email addresses don’t support dots.

A lot of Swedish words are very similar to English, especially if you say them aloud. To prove this, I have written a little story in Swedish that everybody should understand:

Telefoner ringer.

–“Inspektör Poot här.”

En extra elegant blond kallar in:

–“Hjälp! Hjälp! Jag (I) bakar en kaka, men (but) den choklada såsen kryper av.”

Det är hård, men jag är hungrig:

–“Fryser kakan; jag kommer.”

Jag går till blond; hon är naket. Jag löser min bälte, och jag äter kakan.

–“Kakan är god, jag är glad.”

–“Vill du har sex?”

–“Sex kakar? Ja!”

–“Jag är vild och rå men du är slö och dum och hopplös. Gå hem, idiot!”

Jag går hem.

Translation in the comments section.

Oh, and Björn Borg means “bear fortress.” And they have candy bars here called Plopp and Japp. I wonder why those have never conquered the world market.

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Mission Antarctica: Winning the War of Meaning over Consumerism

Felix has put up a page for his sister Rhian Salmon, who is going to Antarctica for a year or two, in part to get away from it all. He suggests a book club to keep in touch. Here are my recommendations:

Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism by Sean Hanitty

Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right by Ann Coulter

Mission Compromised: A Novel by Oliver North

I imagine there is nothing like these books to get your blood boiling when it’s -80 degrees outside.

From the Amazon.com page for the book by Sean Hanitty:

18 people recommended Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right in addition to Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism

15 people recommended Stupid White Men …and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! instead of Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism

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Fun facts about the Swedish language

The alphabet goes from A to Ö ; there is no W, but after Z we get an Å (oh), an Ä (ay) and finally the Ö (the French euh). That’s in addition to A (ah), E (eh), O (ooh), I (ee), Y (eeh-ye) and U (The French uu). No wonder Swedish sounds the way it does.

There is no word in Swedish for “Please”. You have to get all passive-aggressive and say something like “Can I have that, thanks.”

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Return to Barcelona

I was last in Barcelona 10 years ago, almost to the day, after having spent the Olympics there chauffeuring (and sometimes translating) for the Belgian Olympic team. Guess which aspect of the job made it to my CV. My parents had been posted here as Consul-General for the previous 4 years, which meant that I had visited Barcelona for most holidays, learning Spanish for 2-week stints at a time, making temporary friends here or importing my own for the duration of my stay, from college in Brussels.

My job with the Belgian Olympic team had not exactly been the result of nepotism: how many French, English, Dutch and Spanish-speaking college-age kids had spent the previous few years tearing through the new highways that had just been built, or the center’s one-way warren? Well, just me, I maintain, and Jan Vlieghe, whom I knew from college.

One thing I like to believe about myself is that I have remained pretty much constant, identity-wise, over the past decade. It occurred to me, as I arranged this 2-day stopover on the way to Sweden, that comparing my reaction to Barcelona now versus my memory of Barcelona then would be a good experiment to test this theory. Not wholly scientific, of course, and let me count the ways why not: Barcelona will have changed too; and I am the sole judge, jury and executioner of this little game. But then, you should always read blogs with a grain of salt. I may not even be Stefan Geens at all, but a clever impostor. Maybe I am Stefan Geens and an imposter. Now there is a thought.

First impressions were not good. The airport terminal is no longer as glossy as it first was–and they’ve given up on the palm trees. The arrivals hall was foggy from the cigarette smoke; halogen lights in the ceiling burned cones of blue-grey into the haze. Of course I no longer smoke; but would I have lit up 10 years ago upon arrival? No. Not without a gin and tonic in my other hand.

I found my hotel in the Barrio Gothico, just off Placa del Pi, my favorite place in the City. I had spent many a late night here sitting by the statue of the man on the bench, or on the first-floor balcony of Julie’s room in the hostel, smoking a joint with her and Mathias as we watched the hustle below. If my parents only knew.

Well, they know now. (Hi mum!) Barcelona took a while longer to like this time. It was night as I started off towards Placa Reial, where the poorer and the more down and out (who tend to reposition themselves as Anarchists) tend to loiter. I used to gravitate more towards this aspect of Barcelona last time I was here. Not the people, but the nightlife that catered to the more bohemian in spirit–SideCar, Carmen (now gone). Not anymore. Maybe because it was Monday, but there was garbage everywhere, and as it was being hauled away by the garbage collectors after the weekend it leaked and stank.

It was the other Barcelona I couldn’t get enough of this time. The urban planning. The design. The architecture. Gaudi Gaudi Gaudi.

The Sagrada Familia: Last time I was here, Julie, Mathias and I lay on our backs and smoked a joint as we stared up at the towers against moving clouds, and they appeared to fall on us for an eternity (Strange, I just now had a flashback of seeing this optical illusion with the World Trade Center towers a few years ago). But the Sagrada Familia spirals are already a trip. And the cathedral is now once again in full construction, not the husk I saw it as last time. It is spectacular, in its folly, in its madcapness, in its sense of humor. It inspires awe, as cathedrals were meant to do. But sorry, no conversions to Catholicism to report here.

La Pedrera: 12 years ago we’d shout out to the concierge and he’d let us clamber to the roof for a look. Now there are lines–LINES, I tell you–for the guided tour. It must be that global demand for originality is being ratcheted up. But the upside is a free exhibit of Gaudi’s furniture and interior design on the first floor. There are some stunning pieces in there.

Which leads me to my main realization of this trip and the money shot of this blog: That the world’s best cities are there for you for life. They grow with you as you grow up, and offer you different things as you progress in your life’s trajectory. Barcelona and New York do this to a T. While 10 years ago I was above all enamored by the underground nightlife Barcelona had to offer, this time around it was a renewed appreciation of the aggressive city-zenship of the place, of the civic pride in its history as an anarchic force of design and architecture, fiercely independent with its Catalan heritage and with a reputation as Spain’s hardest workers.

This is the Barcelona I fell in love with all over again–the productive and creative outcroppings of its bohemian anarchic tendencies. And I even found the symbol of this realization scrawled on a wall in the Barrio Gothico: The “A” inside a circle that represents the symbol of the Anarchist movement had been improved by some wit with a “(tm)” sign. THAT is Barcelona. I’m sorry, it’s a bit trite, but it’s too true: The rebellious streak corporatized.

The Barrio has been undergoing gentrification too, with designer bars creeping in on where hookers used to hang out, but whereas the forces of urban wealth advance unchallenged in NYC, here, they are fighting a pitched battle, with nighttime graffiti recovering territory it has lost to the day.

My smoking career began here in Barcelona, at the old Cafe Zurich on the Placa Catalunya (now replaced with the new Cafe Zurich–same location, new building). It remains the city’s main meeting place, just as a cortado remains the best coffee I know. I can sugar it as much or as little as I like (unlike in Greece, where it’s a sugar sludge you get to drink) and it’s just the right amount of milk mixed with espresso, without having to wade through inches of foam first. I would sit at the aluminum tables, wearing sunglasses, cortado in the left hand a Fortuna Light in the right hand, watching people or positioning within the Spanish language group (yes I was 20 and not as mature as today–I would not deign to position within a Spanish Language group today–I’m about to position in a Swedish language group instead.)

There is a particular smell about Barcelona: 1 part diesel, 1 part moped fuel, with notes of perfume (I believe there is a lot of eau de cologne used here) and cigarette smoke. Sweet and compelling.

And I’ve seen my first Belgians since being back on the continent! I’ve spied them in bars, discussion the evening’s plans in Flemish–and at the Sagrada Familia (“Da’s nogal iets, ni? Jah, edde gij da kunne filme? Neye, ik heb gene band nimer. Da’s pech hebbe.”) It’s bizarre to find them so far away from home. I had no idea they traveled.

Another thing I felt since I’ve been here but which I only just managed to articulate: There is no dread of possible terrorist attacks in the back of one’s mind here. Sure, the South of Spain has had its share this summer, thanks to ETA, but there is a distinct feeling here (and in Athens) that the locals will escape what’s next. In New York, it’s no use denying, this is a persistent if subconscious hum of a question, left hanging. Airport security was lax in Barcelona. My carry-on, laden with computer and iPod and hard drive, had attracted Israeli and New York airport security scrutiny like vultures to carrion (ha ha). But not in Athens or Barca. They yawned me through.

And finally, I am glad to note that my Spanish has come welling back. Despues instead of dopo, puedo instead of posso, cuenta instead of conto. All it took was immersion into a Spanish environment. I had though I had lost my Spanish forever, exchanged for a knowledge of Italian. It now appears the two languages may be fungible.

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Mostly Moses


 

Last weekend the parents and I drove to the Sinai peninsula to root around St. Catherine’s Monastery, at the base of Mount Sinai, where Moses first foisted a jealous god on his tribe, one that took it personally if you snuck in a little devotion to Baal on the side.

Getting there was like driving at high speed through the set of Star Wars, with camels that make Wookie noises and Bedouins as extras. But the one word that crops up again and again to describe the landscape is “biblical”. Coincidence, or…?

Dad and I climbed up to the top of Mount Sinai at night under the recent full moon, and saw the sunrise from the summit. We were not alone–about 500 pilgrims and tourists had the same bright idea, and at the top there was plenty of un-Judeo-Christian-Muslim jostling for prime viewing spots. But at least Moses is one thing all three major religions can agree on. Pity, then, that archeologists think if he ever did climb a mountain it was not anywhere near this one. But I am of little faith.

The monastery is something else. It houses perhaps the most impressive collection of Byzantine icons and manuscripts in the world, the result of an uninterrupted occupation by Greek Orthodox monks since the monastery was founded in 527 AD by Roman emperor Justinian. Last year, the monastery decided to open up a couple of rooms to the public, and instantly created one of the best small museums in the world. The Metropolitan Museum gladly did the curating.

I was allowed to see the library. One monk is in the process of digitally photographing every manuscript it owns, using ultra-high end equipment. It’s all controlled by a G4 Apple Mac. Hallelujah.

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